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3 Bumps

Using your child's Social Security Disability to buy yourself clothes and coffees when you child needs more therapies?

My sister gets SSD for her autistic daughter and gets 450$ a month. She is in therapy to help her behaviors and to try to give her some skills and education to have a normal life. Her current therapies cost about 200$ a month, since my sister is on state assistance as well and some of the therapies are covered by that. My niece is almost entirely non-verbal and non-communicative. She can speak a little, but refuses to bother and isn't encouraged. She says one word things and expects you to understand what she wants, then throws a fit if you don't understand her. Her words are very difficult to understand, but could be greatly improved with speech therapy. Instead of paying 150$ a month (which is what they quoted to my sister as what it would actually cost) that she already gets for her therapies, my sister prefers to spend the "extra" money on clothes shopping and her daily latte'. I would think that any responsible mother would rather her child learn all the abilities she can than get a 5$ coffee every day. I just found out that her therapist suggested she also get the speech therapies, and my sister said she didn't need it. Hello? The kid can't hardly talk and she's 5!!!!!!!!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on May. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • It's one thing if she took some for living expenses like gas to get to the therapies, but to buy stuff? That's deplorable. I too have family that lives off of their child's check and it's sad. And because they don't work their daughter gets many services for "free" since it's covered by her medicaid. My son receives SSI for his severe delays and I only took money for living expenses when DH lost overtime, but I NEVER take more than is needed, and it's NEVER close to half. It's my son's money, and what's left over after his therapies 3X a week is for me to buy his baby food which he still eats at 4, so it's expensive to feed him. I don't blame you for being concerned. If someone told SSA about this, anon of course, they'd audit where the money has gone, she'd be charged the amount owed back to her child and they'd make someone else the benefactor of the child.

    Answer by Aneya at 11:24 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • my child has autism
    have applyed for disability for her, been turned down twice
    i have filled out waiver for autism, now on a year to a year and a half waiting list for therapy
    i have written grant requests for therapy while waiting year and a half to see IF she can qualify for autism therapy
    would be pleased as can be to have this money for therapy for my daughter
    shopping and take out coffee?!
    sh!t, i got new socks the other week because all mine were rags and i thought that i was special that day

    i do everything i can do to help my daughter, my whole life is on hold while i help her in any way i can think of in these early years-early intervention is key

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:24 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • My son has autism and I think it is horrible that your sister is putting her selfish 'wants' ahead of her child's therapy and using the child's money to pay for her 'wants'! IF SSDI finds out about this, she could be in big trouble and the one who will be hurt by it is the child. I hope your family can get it thru to her that therapy is a MUST for the child, and HAS to be done!!

    Answer by MizLee at 11:24 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • I agree it sounds like the child needs speech therapy. It's sad that she's not getting it.

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:18 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • My autistic son couldnt speak past a 20 month old when he started kinder. Usually schools offer speech therapy. Does she go to school at all? If she is on state aid they will charge medicaid for the speech therapy I think. As for buying clothes well I have used child support to buy clothes for both myself and my kids, but $5 coffees is pretty excessive for anyone. My husband makes decent money and I cant even afford that.

    Answer by gemgem at 11:19 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • She is committing fraud IMO. Her case worker needs to be notified. She needs to be using that money for therapy for her child, period. It's sickening when there are people out there with children who need therapy and cannot get it and she is wasting money on her selfish wants.

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 11:29 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • She needs to get her priorities right_ strait to the point.

    Answer by rowej at 11:33 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • I would talk to your sister, and if she didn't budge, I would pay the $150 myself, and I would make 100% sure that I paid it directly to the place!

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:38 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • She better hop they don't decide to audit her child's account. She will get caught and she will have to pay back that amount of money.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 11:38 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • That's just plain wrong of her...

    Answer by gamom2030 at 11:53 AM on May. 18, 2011