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I feel so bad

I have been with my SO 5 months,living together 2 months...I was living with my mom who started using drugs again...so he moved me and my 3 kids in...I'm not working,but will start school in August...he's a service plumber and generally makes good money,but when he got his rentl house he was with another woman who was bringing in money and so he got a place with a higher rent...well now work is slow and I feel horrible..I have a van that needs gas and insurance...I'm here all day so the electric bill has doubled...luckily my ex is providing the diapers at least,but that may not last long. My oldest will be starting kindergarten so if I get a job it would be to pay childcare...heck with the min. wage jobs i can get i would prob. come out short every week and he agrees it makes no sence for me to work...I still wouldnt be able to contribute anything...the waiting list for childcare assistance is 6 months at the least and I have to be in school or working to get on the list. He told me it would make no diff. if i were not here he would still be having trouble paying his bills..now what pisses me off is he pays his ex $300 a wk. in child support...he only needs to pay $200...so here he is struggleing and all depressed and she still wants her money and he wants to keep everyone happy...his checks have only been around $600 a wk. the last few wks. so I thinks it's bull he still gives her that much...that's half his check...she doesnt care though...she just had him buy her and their kids a new tv for $600 and a tv stand for $300 on his credit card...he also bought the kids some shoes they needed...i tried telling him you pay $100 more a wk. then you need to THAT should cover extra costs...I thinks it's crap that I have to deal with him stuggeling...I cant do anything to help and yet I still have to watch him give her more money then he has too...he even gives her even more money when he's doing well at work...it pisses me off!!! She knows he's having money trouble and she just maxed out all her credit cards and now is using his...she also had to get someting with her well fixed for $400 which went on his card!!! She says she's going to pay it,but I doubt it...it's just BS!!! but I have said from the get-go it's none of my business how much he pays her,but that's when I figured they would adjust accordingly to what he is actually making...I dont know what to do!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on May. 18, 2011 in Money & Work

Answers (6)
  • Do what you have to do and from what it seems you need to get a job anyway....... no matter if it is minimum wage. It will at least help with something and take a lil stress off the situation. In reality you are blessed not many men would move in a woman and her 3 kids... it seems he really cares.
    emerald2

    Answer by emerald2 at 11:56 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • I know I'm really lucky to have met a man like him...that's why I feel so bad he's stressing over money.I've worked since i was 15...i quit my last job when i was pregnant because i couldnt physically do it...I've not worked in a little over a yr. and I'm going insane...I'm NOT a SAHM type at all...my ex always stayed home with the kids... I just applied to wal-mart and mcdonalds...I dont know what I will do for childcare for 3 kids...he is on-call every other wk. and has told me even if he wasnt he doesnt really wan to get off work to watch my kids...i dont blame him...I guess even if I break even I'll atleast be able to get on the list for childcare assistance and in 6 months I'll be able to help out more.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:21 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • i'm sorry you are complaining that he is giving his ex money, but all you've said about your ex (father of your kids) is only giving you diapers. have you applied for PA to help out? where is your child support from your ex to help out. i understand you are pissed that he is giving his ex money but that's his business not yours. he has kids with this woman, regardless of the ex taking advantage of him, he isn't complaining obviously otherwise he would go to court and have that fixed.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 12:59 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • I'm not complaing he gives her money im comlpaing that he is struggeling and still gives her more then he even needs to because that's what they agreed on when he was getting good hrs. at work...it makes no sence to me at all...my ex is a douche and does not help at all...the diapers are all I get from him...something my SO knew from the get-go...I have always told him and even her that what he pays in childsupport is between them and it is,but he cant say no to her and right now he needs too...like racking up charges on his credit card for her...that's not his problem and she made it his and she knows he wont say no if she attached his kids to it...it was a tv for the living room so it's a tv for his kids too...like they need a 50" plasma with a $300 tv stand...it's insane...I know it's his money so I try and stay out of it,but I'm the 1 has to put up with his shity ass mood over him stressing about money...not her..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:22 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • I'm on foodstamps and medicaid..I was going to apply for cash assistance as well,but I have only 2 yrs. left to recieve it and dont want to really waste it in case there is a time I really do need it.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:29 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • It doesn't sound like much of a future with this man, sorry to say.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 4:36 PM on May. 18, 2011

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