Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I tell my ex and give him a chance to fix it or not?

And yes I posted about this last week if it seems familiar but I have since met with my lawyer.
I am posting anonymous because I am pretty sure my ex husbands girlfriend comes on here so I really do not want my ex or her to know what I am up to.

My ex was living with his mistress for a number of years before the split. My son has not been cared for well ever since. I was called by my sons school (emailed then called) about his excessive tardies and absences. I had them fax all the info to my attorney. My attorney has since called me and had me come in. He is drawing up change of custody papers as we speak.

I just wonder if I should tell my ex and let him have one last chance at doing the right thing and turning our son back over to me, or just to proceed? He told me he would never give him back, but I am not sure if he knows he is facing a long hard costly court battle if he might change his mind? He just got off welfare, got a job, and commutes to a different state every day to work. Somehow I dont think going to court would be something he would be able to do without losing his job right now. My husband and my lawyer say screw him, just have him served. What do you think?>


Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on May. 18, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I would give him a chance. Your attorney has an alterior motive to be invloved as much as possible (for charging purposes), so you need to keep that in mind. You can't fault a business person from trying to make money.

    What is the worst that could happen if you tell you ex? The worst is that he gets a lawyer . . . which he'll have to anyway.

    What is the best that could happen? He may decide that it is just easier to give you custody.

    I think it is worth it.

    Good luck mama!

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 11:56 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • I agree with the husband and lawyer, screw him!

    Answer by older at 11:49 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • Screw him........listen to your attorney

    Answer by Dahis at 11:50 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • Do you think he would warn you if the shoe was on the other foot?

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:50 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • I think you should just file the papers and get custody of your kiddo!

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:51 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • You should move forward without telling him. It IS what is best for your son.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • Why would you want to give him a heads up and risk losing your chance at getting your kid back?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • If it were me I would not tell him, I would just have him served.

    Answer by MizLee at 11:55 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • Screw him

    Answer by Helen2004 at 11:59 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • Can you give him the heads up but still file the paper work? I see where you are coming from that it is the civil thing to do and you want to give him the chance, he is still your son's father and making your relationship with him even more strained doesn't help any of you. On the other hand, I wouldn't hold off on getting the papers filed and starting the process just to give him a chance. If you speak to him and he agrees and drops your child off at your house, then you can call off the dogs but until then I would proceed as though you are going to have to go to court. Is there a chance he will do anything crazy if you tell him you are filing, like take off with the kid? Otherwise I think giving him a call to tell him what you are doing and that he will be getting the papers soon might be ok. Did your lawyer say not to do it because it's too nice or because it would jeopardize the case? Good luck either way.

    Answer by MaryMW at 12:01 PM on May. 18, 2011