Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

My Son...

Well I found his BioDad, or at least a link to him, I found his BioDads girlfriend. She has a facebook page. I saw posts about him (biodad), pictures, etc. The town they live in is listed, and I could easily send her a message, but I haven't.... It's been 8 yrs since he's seen my son. My son's almost 15 and is very angry with him, and is going to therapy a couple times a month about it.
Should I message her? They have been together for the past 8 yrs, since he stopped seeing our son, so I know she hasn't encouraged him to contact him. His biodad knows how to contact me, and anyone in my family. I actually spoke to my sons Grandma (his biodads mother). She won't do anything to help, I have asked for her to, and she said she doesn't want in the middle of it, so we don't speak to her often, only when she calls. But she has my address, phone number, etc... So there is a way to contact his son. But he won't. So should I message the Girlfriend? Or should I just leave it alone? My son has said that he doesn't want to contact them, he thinks his biodad should do it, that it's his job if he wants to have a relationship with him... So I feel like if I did contact them, it might get the ball rolling... But then again it might be a dead end, and they could just ignore it... TY ladies....


Asked by Anonymous at 12:35 PM on May. 18, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Respect what your son wants........let the biodad do it........he is evidently choosing not's his loss and GodBless you and your son.

    Answer by Dahis at 12:38 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • if you contact them, it could cause a huge mess. like you said he has many different ways to contact his son.. apparently he wants to worst father award and seems like hes been getting it for 8 years.. i would just leave it alone, if your son doesnt want to then dont. :( i am sorry for your son

    Answer by 3HappylKidds at 12:39 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Im with your son, and would respect your sons wishes. He doesnt want you to contact his father. Just book mark the page and when he gets older and asks about it you can give him the url and let him contact them.
    Why do you want to contact someone who obviously doesnt want to see his child anyway?

    Answer by gemgem at 12:39 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Your son is almost 15 years old. He's more than old enough to know what he wants and if he doesn't want contact with his father, respect his wishes.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 12:44 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • I see the hurt, I hear him cry, I take him to his therapy appt and know what he's telling the Dr. It's heart wrenching to hear him. It's like he wants to talk to him, but is afraid to make the first move... I guess it would be closure for me as well. I would like to let go of the anger, and pain, and I don't know how. It's also a feeling of guilt on my part because I didn't try harder to make things right years ago. It's just painful to watch, and know that he's hurting... Ty ladies..

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:45 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Respect your son he is 15 now, He is a young adult. As for your x he is not worth bothering with. When he wants to know his son it will be to late. You just keep loving your son and show him how to be a good person, he will have in his heart its his mother who raised him and showed him how to be a good person. I would think him seeing his father as a jerk, he will grow and be a great dad to his son and daughters.

    Answer by CarolJean65 at 12:46 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • I am with your son. Leave it be. If your son wants to contact him then initiate it, otherwise leave it alone. I go into contact with my father after 17 years and I left the ball in his court. He hasn't tried to contact me in more than 5 years. My grandmother died and left stuff for me and he won't send it to me unless I contact him first. That is BS. It is the absent parents job to contact their child if they want a relationship with their child. As an adult child in the same situation, just leave it be.

    Answer by coala at 12:51 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Okay, I'll let it go... It saddens me to think of how my son feels down deep.. I had both my parents until they both passed, and I have always felt like I should work hard to get them back together. All of you are right though. My sons being the more level headed one, and I'm thinking with my emotions.. Thank you again.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:58 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • You never let it go. My 3 older kids dad walked away from them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on May. 18, 2011