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Grr soo irritated!! But am I being selfish?

My DHs ephewspent the night last night, mainly to be with my MIL, but my DHs sisters on his moms side never take good care of their kids, I mean they are always dirty and yeah I get playing outside but I get annoyed, they dont have manners, always coughing, and at me and my son, and never get disciplined for things, and when they say things that I wouldnt ever dare say- racial things- they dont get in troble for it, but at my MILS houseI dont put up with any of it, I threaten to wash out their mouths with soap and spank them, in return they are kind of afraid of me, but they do warm up to me after an hour or so, Im just so irritated, more so with the parents, who do nothing to and think all is cute. All they do is yell at their kids and just let things go, like seriously? The other day is was 50degree and the two kids were both under the age of 3 were outside alone, un shorts and tanktop no shoes or jacket or anything. I just get so frustrated and I feel like I should be able to control myself, but right now this is the only thing I could think to do is vent, bc well my DH adn I arent on great terms, whole other issue, and so he sleeps during the day leaving me to fend of whatever comes this way. Talking like an adult with them is out of the question because they will say one thing and go off and completely do something different, like hang out with their SO who are court ordered to stay away from them but yet they still live with them, Im not going to say anything because Im not going to raise her kids if she goesto the pokey for 4 years. Ive got enough on my own plate Grrr! Advice would be good, but Im pretty much venting here..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on May. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I went as far as giving my son cough meds today because nephew was sucking snot up his nse and refuses to blow it, and coughs alll over us....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:12 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • I think I may have gotten lost but the way I'm taking it, they spent the night at your MIL's house and you live there? "My DHs ephewspent the night last night, mainly to be with my MIL"
    So they stayed to be with your MIL? Then why are you taking care of them? She should be taking care of them and if you don't like for them to be there, why not move out?
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:16 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • You doped up your kid when they weren't sick? Cough meds won't keep them from getting sick.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:17 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Yeah we are staying there bc we moved back from another state to help my dad who passed away shortly after finding out he was sick. yes, my DS started coughing because he was being hacked al over. So Im not an irresponsible parent if thats waht your getting at.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:20 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Yes were staying with her Temp. because we had to do an Emergency move back to help out MY fatehr, who passed away suddenly a few months back, but my DS started coughing bc his cousin was hacking all over him. Im not irresponsible if tahts waht your getting at.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:21 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • It sounds pretty stressful over there. Sorry mama. :(

    I think, because you are living with your MIL, you will probably have to just tolerate all of that stuff until you can move out. Unless, of course, you and your hubby are paying the rent or mortgage, and just taking care of MIL . . . then you have alot mnore control.

    It is possible that all of this stiuff is even more annoying because of where DH and you are in your relationship. That is really hard.

    Do you have any friends you could have a playdate visit with when your nephews are there? That may save you from some irritation.

    FYI - It is advised that cough and cold medicines not be given to children. There can be very negative side effects . . . . talk to your ped.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 2:30 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • The stuff I give him is all natural and what not, its not even a 1/4 of the dosage for the age above him, So im not too worried about him having a bit of it while trying to keep the cold contained.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:31 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • The natural stuff is not well regulated and has been found to have traces of precriptions, unmetered doses, and contaminants, such as lead . . . you should still consult with peds for help choosing a well-known brand that has self-imposed regulatory testing.

    Good luck mama . . . . I hope everything gets better really soon. And, I am so sorry about your dad,
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 2:34 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Cold Medicine aside... because seriously...yea I don't see that as a big issue. Just because a lifestyle is wrong for your kids does not make it wrong for someone else. As for being outside half clothed, did you say something to the MIL about it? You live with her, just make sure you don't over step your boundaries with her grandchildren....and that's how it will be looked at, next time go out for the day and come back when it's bed time that way you don't have to deal with it. But it sounds like more than "the kids' bother you but that gave you an outlet to vent. My children are 5 and 6 and still cough on people if not reminded to cover their mouth...sometimes you will catch my daughter out in her underwear on the porch, not because she's allowed because things happen...as for racial slurring, of course it isn't right, but if they hear it....they repeat it, sounds like it's better to stay away when possible. Good Luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • yeah, I get that kids cough on people, i get it, im not completely oblivious to the fact that kids are kids, and dont know any better, but people who dont raise their kids, and yeah i get kids go outside under dressed, but when no one does anything about it, even MIL it bothers me, and Im not going to say anything because it will stir up a bunch of crap, and like i ve said ive got enough crap on my plate, yeah it is more than the kids, its really not the kids, its more the parenting that is being lacked. Thats what is really is, the lack of parenting. hmm guess I should have used that as the title.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:54 PM on May. 18, 2011

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