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Sister pregnant

My sister is 20 and pregnant by a 38 yr old man. She was 18 when they met. They are not married, they live together, he is a carni traveling around with a fair. My sister is slow, not retarded, but very slow. She cant fill out papers, she didnt even know how to spell her middle name. Its very sad, but how is she going to raise a child? She is very defensive if you say anything. I dont know what to do, when this baby is born I feel like it will be in danger. What would you do?

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greenbeanmoma

Asked by greenbeanmoma at 2:17 PM on May. 18, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 12 (756 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Are you close to her, can you help her?
    Will her SO be helpful?
    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 2:19 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Well he is not the brightest crayon in the box either! And I can help her but I have 3 boys of my own.
    Now if she wanted to let me adopt the baby I would but she made it clear that was not going to happen!
    greenbeanmoma

    Comment by greenbeanmoma (original poster) at 2:21 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • OMG! I think you guys need to be there for her. If this man is older than her, he is definetly taking advantage of her intelligence. She's your sister, but the "ONLY" thing you can do right now is just be supportive and stay in her life. stay in the know, and always make sure she's okay. I sort of feel sorry for her, and I don't even know her, but if she was my sister, I would stay close in touch especially when the baby is born. Don't make her or him mad. Be nice, because he may try to isolate you from her if you make him mad. Good luck!
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 2:23 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Just give her lots of advice! Tell her how to take care of the baby, donate some of your baby stuff to her, get her some baby parenting books.
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 2:25 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Oh I talk to her daily, I begged her to not get pregnant, and you are right she only gets mad when you try to convince her of something.. I do feel so sorry for her, I love her so much. But if it came down to it I would have to choose my niece\nephew safety over our relationship!
    greenbeanmoma

    Comment by greenbeanmoma (original poster) at 2:25 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • She can barely read so the books would not work. I did get her some books though I thought she might could get something out of it.
    greenbeanmoma

    Comment by greenbeanmoma (original poster) at 2:27 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • hmm

    For some reason this is Her Path, God/Mother Nature/Karma says so.
    And yours, too.
    You can try and be patient and offer all you are able to.
    If she does most of the care & nurturing for her child then it's still less "work" for you than to adopt the baby.

    I think you are "meant" to provide a loving, nurturing guidance for her~

    Good luck to you and to her!

    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 2:31 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Her doctor knows exactly how she is. If the OB thinks she is not capable he/she can report it. They would not let someone that is not capable of caring for a baby do so. And if you have concerns, you can always help her and give her advice. My husband cannot spell well, or read well. He is a very intelligent person. He is a diesel mechanic and very good at it. Just because hes a little slower in reading and writing doesnt mean he cant care for a child. He doesnt awesome with our son.
    jmgblair10

    Answer by jmgblair10 at 2:46 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • does an awesome job caring for our son ******
    jmgblair10

    Answer by jmgblair10 at 2:47 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Oh shes not just slow with reading and writing. I wish thats all it was. She has no common sense she will never be able to understand what the dr. is talking about, or how to fill out papers or HW, I am just so worried about it, not to mention the 5 pit bulls he has and one lives in the house!
    greenbeanmoma

    Comment by greenbeanmoma (original poster) at 2:49 PM on May. 18, 2011

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