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What are clues to inform a parent their child is telling the true when they have experience something negative or bad while out of your care? Do you believe a child under 10 can explain in detail an incident that happened to them? How can you tell if a child’s story is true or made up?

My 8 year old have been telling me things that's going on at school, but many have told me to accept that he might not be telling the truth, because there's no visual proof of these incidents except for undocumented bruises. Because other kids and parents have complain about how this school treats students, I really do believe. But I want to know and hear your input. Thank you.

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ladynell4god

Asked by ladynell4god at 4:03 PM on May. 18, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 10 (477 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Take your child to the ped and have him/her look at the bruising and do an interview . . , give you an opinion. They will take it from there.

    Good luck.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 4:05 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • The truth is the easiest thing to remember, so I would try asking the child similar questions at different times regarding the incident. to see if the answers vary or not.
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 4:08 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • When my DD would come home and tell a story about something I would just ask alot of questions about it so that she needed to explain more and more. Not because I thought she was lying or making stuff up but because kids tell their side of it and you need to completely understand the whole situation. Lots of questioning to get all sides and details and I agree with pp to take the child to the doctor to look at the bruising and get an opinion.

    Good Luck
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 4:10 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Chances are if the story (stories) are the same and consistent then its the truth. If the tale, especially little details are flawed then they are filling in missed memories or not telling the truth. You should assume if its a case of protecting your child that it is the truth. Perhaps take them to a psychologist or counselor to help.
    hotelmom123

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 4:11 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • I would be looking for consistency in the story, that it is retold the same way each time. And I think you also have to be careful about the way you ask questions because you don't want to lead the child. As in, if you see a bruise you want to ask "How did you get this bruise?" and not ask "Who gave you this bruise?" etc. Depending on the seriousness of the concern or allegation I believe a child psychologist would be better at determining the accuracy of a child's claim. Good luck.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:33 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • I do believe that a child can give you an honest account of what has gone on.

    There have been a few times DD has come home with stories from school that a teacher has said something or such and after I get her story I approach the teacher in a non-confrontational way and find out that DD was exactly right.

    Talk to the adult and see what the adult says. If they are covering for something, it may show up in the little details that get changed. Are there friends of your child's that you can ask as well? Anyone else around when whatever is happening?
    anxiousschk

    Answer by anxiousschk at 4:34 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • I was trained in this exact thing as a therapist and all answers are incorrect. A child can be inconsistant and remember details or tell details after the original disclosure. Not because tgey forgot but because they may have thought they told you, don't have the right language to articulate the event or events, and can find certain aspects not important. Also adults rarely are consistant in reporting crimes or events. Questioning over and over or even questioning at all is inappropriate if a crime occured. After what appears to be a disclosure occurs a good response is "tell me more about that." Keeping "questions" non leading and non directive is important. Kids as young as two have made credible whitnesses in criminal events. But it takes knowledge and support to handle it appropriately. If it is criminal behaviors you suspect then a piediatrucian does not have the
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:21 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • training to do trauma interviewing. Taking your child to a therapist who specializes in abuse or trauma a better option. And rarely is there brusing on a child when sexual abuse has occured. A doctor can't physically tell a child has been sexually abused. Most often there is little to know physical evidence in child sexual abuse - just a child's testamony.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:25 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • I appreciate all of the feedback from everyone. I found the most interesting answer to be from frogdawq, because I've done all the aboved. I've questioned the teachers, principals, and other staff members. What I found out is no teacher in their right mind is going to tell a parent this happened, but it was an accident. My child came to me back in September and told me the first teacher he had for 2nd grade hurted him. Because of how the principal handled my concerns in previous years of saying to me my child is always lying, I've stopped asking the school what happend. There have been many of his friends who came home and told me they have seen teachers dragging him, choking him, etc. What's most troubling is my 8 year old telling me they won't let him eat and also they give him medicine. I've asked and confront teachers as well as the principal, and in an ARD meeting they all strongly spoke out and said he lied.
    ladynell4god

    Comment by ladynell4god (original poster) at 2:54 AM on May. 20, 2011

  • Now before anyone speak out what I should do, let me share with you what I have done. I've talked to counselors, doctors, psycologists, the police, CPS, judges, and lawyers. Because there is no visual proof, they are not making any moves to cause an investigation to be launch in the school. No teachers have been put on a leave of absence, and my child have not stop complaining and telling me what's going on at school. Just the other day I received an called from the school nurse telling me my child was in her office because he bumped his head on the floor in computer class. I asked her if my child told her that, and she repond yes. She told me there was no bruises, bumps, knots, etc, and he was fine. Just a small red spot. My child came home and told me a total different story. Tell me if you believe his story or the nurse: I just can't see how a child gets a large knot on the head from hitting it on the floor.
    ladynell4god

    Comment by ladynell4god (original poster) at 3:01 AM on May. 20, 2011

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