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2 Bumps

Is it wrong to feel this way?

I am a step parent to 3 boys ages 7-11 and have been for 3 yrs now. When my kids (except the oldest) walked in the door today they not once said hello or even acknowledge my presence for that matter. They just walked by me like I wasn't even there! I was SO hurt! Everything that I do for those boys and this is how I'm treated?! My husband says (not in a tender voice mind you), "they're kids!" Well, I'm sorry, to me that's not an excuse! Number one they weren't raised that way for crying out loud! Secondly I haven't seen them in a few days and I missed them! I said to my husband (in an upset voice) I can't believe you don't have my back on this!! He said, well, I have to have there backs sometimes too you know.
Now I'm even more ticked off and I don't want to be around any of them!!!
I think if my husband would've had my back and privately talked to them, like he has before, then I probably wouldn't feel as hurt as am I feeling now. UGH!!
Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on May. 18, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (12)
  • I am may not have the popular opinion, but I agree with your dh. They are kids. They are at the age where they pull away from their parents more.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • I think they need to be taught respect and that is saying hey to you when they walk in, you are their step mom. Maybe you can talk to them and just ask how they have been and tell them you missed them....maybe next time they will do better :)
    luvmy4kidsinAL

    Answer by luvmy4kidsinAL at 5:54 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • i think, at that age, they should be expected to show some sort of acknowledgement. i'm sorry you are hurting...hugs
    happymom8262

    Answer by happymom8262 at 5:57 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • I think it would be common courtesy to acknowlege you as they walked in. Kids yes, manners also yes!
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 5:57 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • The whole blended family dynamic is so complicated sometimes. Things are only going to become more challenging as they get into their teen years. For now, I would walk into the room, & say "Hi guys! How've you been?!" As the grown ups, sometimes we need to make the first move & never give up on those lines of communication. Maybe hubby feels you overreacted, but I think I would've been a little hurt by it too. Just keep working on it w/ dh & the boys so you can continue to grow as a family. GL :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:12 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Awww- I'm sorry Momma! I agree with you that they should have acknowledged you at least, and your DH should have had your back, no matter what you said(unless of course you were saying something crazy or abusive, I'm talking normal every day stuff).
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 6:52 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • i'm sure you were hurt, but i think you are over reacting and your dh is right.. if it bothered you you should have instead said hi to them and how much you missed them(and i bet they would have gotten the hint and apologized without the drama of you running to their dad because the didnt say hi)
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 9:02 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • I can see why you felt hurt. Have you talked to the boys. Told them that you missed them a lot, and it hurt that they didn't even say hello?
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 11:48 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • did you say anything to them/
    notjstasocermom

    Answer by notjstasocermom at 6:51 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • First of all, you don't do EVERYTHING FOR THEM! It sounds like they live at least 50% with their mother. They also aren't "your kids" they are your DH's and their mother's kids, not your's. I guess they didn't miss you like you missed them, what should they be beat for that.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 10:01 AM on May. 19, 2011

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