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4 Bumps

Why is she doing this?

Over the past few months, my 6 yr old has taken to having accidents in her pants. At school, on the bus and at home. She says "I forgot". Today was the last day of school and I had to go pick her up early because she "had an accident". I've grounded her from things, talked to her, tried it all. But I'm at the end of my rope with this. Anyone else? What do you do??


Asked by Anonymous at 6:25 PM on May. 18, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • my 7 year old did this at 6 too, and actually has done it recently... she has adhd and in her case, she truly doesn't think about it until it's too late. Basically, I started with sympathy, "are you ok?" "does anything hurt?" "did you know you had to go?", etc.... then the getting frustrated, "why are you doing this?" "What's wrong with you?" "Are you doing it to get my attention?" "Do you need to start wearing diapers again?" Finally, I realized it was her being preoccupied and not wanting to stop whatever she's doing. Soooo, now I simply make her go periodically... when she says, "i don't have to" I tell her to please try, and 90% of the time she goes.... Her last accident was when our bathroom was occupied. She was asked if she had to go before dad got in there, and she said no, but 5 minutes later she had to go and he couldn't come out, so she went on the kitchen floor..... If it's bedwetting, go with underjams

    Answer by mlivlee at 12:49 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • ok 1st off have her checked for a uireny tract infection .

    have anything changed in her life ? could she be getting bulled at school ??

    there a few reasons a child can have accidents  , stress , upset are the most comment next to a uti . but it can also be if a child is distracted or over constraining .

    i would start a reward chart for her for staying dry . eg is you stay dry at school you get a sicker positive praise works best most of the time


    Answer by feralkitten at 6:36 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • It could be a number of things have you taken her to the doctor to rule out any medical issues?

    Answer by smurfyangel at 6:37 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Has she been constipated lately or a lot? My DD has problems with getting to the bathroom sometimes because she has chronic constipation, then she'll hold it because it hurts to go, and eventually she loses the feeling that she needs to go and won't know until she has a small accident. If this is the case, I'd suggest getting a stool softener into your child's diet and instituting bathroom times, 10 minutes at a time, like morning, after school and before bed. I hope this helps!

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 7:08 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Acting out
    has something drastic happened in her life lately?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:31 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • Well grounding her will probably not help at all in this situation. She may be having a problem with her bladder. Also, she could be stressed from school ending and changes in her life. My daughter used to do this and say the same thing. She was stressed from school and moving. I spent extra time talking to her about her feelings and finding out her worries. This helped her feel important and her stress level dropped. There is the odd chance your daughter really forgets but even then you should just review potty time rituals.

    Answer by BetcCarter at 6:32 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • it wouldnt hurt to take her to the doc, it really could be a number of things

    Answer by VDietrich at 6:44 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • DD has had this problem. She potty trained at 3.75. When she started kindergarten, the accidents started. It's a very complicated situation. She wasn't drinking enough, she was constipated, her bladder was small, she had reflux back to her kidneys. It's called dysfunctional voiding. The way to go is to work with a DOVE team at a children's hospital. They will start her on timed voiding. This is where she drinks 6 ounces of water and then urinates 20 minutes later, It helps to retrain the bladder so the accidents stop.

    Don't punish her. She's waiting to long to go and has created a medical situation for herself.


    Answer by JSD24 at 8:03 AM on May. 19, 2011