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my mom and boyfriend don't get along.. help!

My boyfriend and I have complicated history together so my mom wasn't exactly thrilled when we got together last august. I still live with my mom when i'm not at college. my bf and i are in love and planning on getting married. the only problem is that he and my mom put me in the middle and i feel like i always have to choose between them. She thinks that at 22 he is not mature (among other things) and is trying to pull me away from my family. he thinks that my mom is trying to control me and that i should make my own decisions (i'm 19). idk what to do to fix this. no matter what i end up crying and they both are upset. i respect my family but i love my bf. i just don't see the light at the end of this tunnel and it's stressing me out, my mom out and my relationship with my bf. any advice?

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waldosalad

Asked by waldosalad at 8:47 PM on May. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Hate to tell you but your mom is probably right. You guys are young.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • In my experience, Mom is probably right. You are young and naive, I was there too and married the guy. 10 years later, I wish I would have listened to my Mom. We are divorced now, the only thing good from that relationship is my 4 year old; financially, emotionally, and physically I was a wreck. If you have someone that has always loved and supported you, they will probably be devastated when they see you making a mistake and will likely voice their opinion.
    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 10:14 PM on May. 18, 2011

  • You shouldn't have a complicated history at 19. Complicated is for people in their 30's and beyond. Listen to your mother.
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 9:37 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • Your mom is right.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:44 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • Your BF shouldn't be bad mouthing your family. It obviously upsets you. A man that loves you would say... 'i don't want to destroy your relationship with your family, so let's wait to get married. We don't have to be married to be together.' for him to say that would require a solid loving relationship and emotional maturity.
    If your mom isn't trying to control the situation and is allowing you to make decisions for yourself than you should listen to her. Give yourself a break. Why are you putting do much pressure on these relationships? If you tell your mom you know you aren't ready to get married will she back off? If you tell your BF the same will he leave? I don't think this situation has to escalate at all. Give your mom time to see how much you guys mean to each other and give your man time to prove it.

    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 11:37 AM on May. 20, 2011

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