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Ok I must be new to the world or something

I have had this happen a few times and like ok maybe I should quit something. I could be friends with Sarah and Jane. I am telling Jane that I am not happy with some Sarah did (man I am not happy Sarah went with another designer over me). A few days later Sarah is pissed off at me cause what I told to me it wasn't that deep or mean spirited. So now Sarah is mad at me for saying something that was just a feeling and Jane has been saying shit but I never say anything cause I don't really care what she is talking about.

What am I doing wrong?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:59 AM on May. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Don't talk about one friend to another use your example...Sarah is probably not upset that you are upset with her, she's upset because you talked to Jane about it instead of coming to Sarah and telling her how you feel

    Answer by Lucky209 at 3:07 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • OK this is what I must fail to understand....Jane will talk about Sarah's back all the time and I don't say a thing....and I feel like if I say what Jane said Jane will be like I can't trust I don't get it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:15 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • Sounds like you could use more mature friends.. Lol

    Answer by MKSers at 3:34 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • Sounds like you have communication issues, along with your friends. If something bugs you then you need to speak with the person making you feel that way, or not say anything at all. Same to your friends. People don't like the idea of others talking about them behind their backs, they like it even less than a person confronting them because when confronted they at least have the opportunity to defend themselves.

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 4:57 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • Thanks cause that makes sense. For the most part I can and will speak up for myself but there can be times where I am more "laid back" with what is on my mind. I will keep this new information in mind when I am dealing with close personal friends to really say what is on my mind not be silent.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:00 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • Real friends can share anything and everything. They can agree to disagree, be good listeners, confide in each other, and never betray each other. You're not "new" to the world; maybe you're just realizing how petty and unreliable women can often be. If you or they cannot say what's on your mind(s) without backlash, then they are not real friends to worry about. Yes, they are immature adults; that stuff goes on when you're kids and/or teenagers. It's called gossip and some people just thrive on that. So somebody's mad, keep acting like an adult yourself. Confront those involved or simply ignore it or wait for it to pass. If it doesn't, then find new friends that you can respect and get the same respect in return.

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:30 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • If Jane is gossiping and complaining to you about a third party, it shouldn't come as a surprise that she's gossiping and complaining to her other friends, too. Some people are just like that. I find people like that don't stay my friends for very long.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 8:40 AM on May. 19, 2011

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