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Have you ever seriously thought about leaving your husband but didn't? What made you change your mind?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:06 AM on May. 19, 2011 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • I have on a couple of occasions in 14 years together. Mostly because he is TERRIBLE at being romantic and nurturing. In 14 years I have never gotten a card, a flower, a gift, etc, he can't be on time for a "date" or one of our daughter's events to save his life, and that screams to me that he cares too much about himself to acknowledge the schedules and needs of others. He has told me that he loved me less than 5 times in the 14 years we have been together. At times I think that being with him means giving up the chance of ever being loved madly, doted on, and feeling like I am desperately wanted and needed.

    Sigh. On the other hand, he works like a dog for our family and shows his love that way. He supports me in my education, helps me around the house, is excellent at making sure our futures are prepared for, and I think that is showing love through action. He has never been controlling or abusive. He has never once (cont)

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 9:22 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • Yes, but then I found out I was having my 3rd and for some reason I didn't think I could do it on my own. I left when she turned 4 and I so wish I had left when I wanted to the first time. Wasted time!

    Answer by missanc at 8:49 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • First off let me say - I was an idiot - I had the great Idea that I would stay until my daughter told me she was ready to leave and one day at the age of 4 she looked at me and said "Daddy is a jerk" We left the next day but I have never forgiven myself for not leaving sooner.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:10 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • Anon- the straw that broke the camel's back for me, was when I saw my baby boy becoming an abuser, just like his daddy.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 8:32 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • given me a reason to suspect that he is cheating or would ever leave our family. To me, it always boils down to the fact that there is NO perfect person out there, and that I could do a lot worse than what I've done. "Love the one you're with" I suppose. When I actually get to the point that I think about leaving, I think about whether not hearing I'm loved or getting a card "undoes" all the positive things he does and whether it is worth ripping apart the family we have for our children. It never is, I guess...because I'm still here.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 9:24 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • Yes. Yesterday actually. I was preparing to kick him out. It was over something stupid. Glad I realized it. But I had written him a letter telling him how I feel...and washed all of his clothes.I was sure he would have a bad reaction to the letter, but to my suprise he did not. He apologized, we made up. Went out to dinner. And now everything is peachy. lol.

    Answer by Auntiemom410 at 9:30 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • Nope. My first husband was controlling and abusive. He was the type of man you always had to walk on eggshells around because you didn't want to set him off. I decided that I'd rather be alone than live in fear, so I left. I had to do it secretly, a little at a time. Like I would take some clothes he wouldn't miss when I went to my mom's. I had to come up with a plan. I moved as many of my things out as possible without him noticing, caught him gone one day, called my brother to come get me, and I left. I had to stay with somebody in another state for a little while to let him get over his rage.
    The man I'm married to now is so loving and wonderful. 20 years and going strong. I've never thought once about leaving him in all that time. You could count the number of arguments we've had on one hand. We're best friends.

    Answer by popzaroo at 11:01 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • Yes, I contemplated it for many years before I finally did. Fear (mainly of him, what he would do to me, to my babies- which wound up being a very well placed fear) kept me there so long.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 8:08 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • Yes I have sadly, but what changed my mind was realizing how much I loved him and that everything could be perfect all the time. We always work through whatever is thrown our way.

    Answer by amber1330 at 8:37 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • Yes I have. We were going through a really bad patch and we were separated for a few days. I didn't want to leave him but I thought that's where it was heading. For me it was a time to think. I had to figure out if the bad was more than the good. It didn't take long to realize it wasn't. We had problems but no marriage is perfect. He's a great dad, he doesn't abuse me and all round I love him. So we worked it out, not only for our son but for us. Good luck )))

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 9:05 AM on May. 19, 2011