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2 Bumps

Step-son

Ok this is going to sound bad but its not like it sounds. My fiance has 3 kids and the 2 younger ones I love to death. But the oldest one I honestly don't like. He's 7 yrs old and acts like he's 4 he whines and crys about every little thing. He does something wrong and you punish him. You now like make him sit in time out. Omg the kid acts like its the worst thing in the world.like someone is killing him. He honestly gets on my nerves so bad I don't even like being around him. How can I change my feelings for him?

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mrs.smith2011

Asked by mrs.smith2011 at 9:22 AM on May. 19, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (41 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Maybe he usually doesn't get punished at all? Can you make like a you and him day every other week doing what he likes to do?
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 9:24 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • I dont know but you should be honest with your fiance about it before you get married. If you cant get over these feelings you probably need to walk away from the relationship altogether. You should love all 3 kids because they are his, and if you cant do that itll cause alot of problems down the road.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:26 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • No cuz he mom doesn't like me and whenever he's around my fiance acts totally different
    mrs.smith2011

    Comment by mrs.smith2011 (original poster) at 9:27 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • This sounds like any other child that doesn't want to be punished for what they do. My 4 year old DD is the same way.

    Maybe he is whiney because he sees you as taking up time from his dad along with the other kids. Maybe he is acting this way to get attention that he feels that he is not getting?
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:28 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • I think it's a good idea about spending some one on one fun time with him. Maybe even some counseling??
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 9:31 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • My step son is the same way and he's 10! He's lived with us since he was 4 and everything was great in the beginning. I think he acts outs because he feels like he doesn't have one home like our children and I don't think he feels like he has "a home" because he lives in two places. You just have to try to let him know he is loved and both his mom and dad love him and so do you. Hopefully it will get better for the both of us but jealousy is mean and I think that's what our kids are experiencing. GL
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 9:34 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • No I have 3 kids of my own so I know how kids act when they get in trouble this kid just...omg! Like one we were all playing softball and evwryone got to pic where they wanted to play at on the field. Well he ended up crying in tthe field for no reason what so ever.
    mrs.smith2011

    Comment by mrs.smith2011 (original poster) at 9:39 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • Thanks I love him that's a givin just wish my feelings could change. Maybe its cuz my 4 yr old acts older then he does. I love him tho and that will never change
    mrs.smith2011

    Comment by mrs.smith2011 (original poster) at 9:43 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • 7 year old boys can just be like this, I have a question do you enforce the time out or your fiance? I have been a step mom, and you need to let your HUSBAND do most of the discipline, it is harder for him because he is older, he has lost his parents being together, and it will take some timve before he views you as not threatening. I agree with PP who said you need some one on one time with just you and him, next time he comes you and he should go to the zoo, mini-golfing, bowling or something, he will begin to open up! Whining at this age is pretty normal, but if you really can't stand him, and can't get to a point to where you love him, don't get married until you can get it resolved,, also hopefully you all don't have any kids together yet? I would hold off on that until you can all get adjusted.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:43 AM on May. 19, 2011

  • hmmm this is tough, has he ever been evaluated for or diagnosed with any kind of behavioral ,or communication disorders not that it sounds like he has a hard time undrstanding you, so maybe its more of a behavioral issue? Or maybe its as simple as negative attention is better than no attention. I'm not saying he doesn't get enough attention, but he may not feel that way. So maybe some one on one time even if its once a week with you and him will help.GL
    Genice6

    Answer by Genice6 at 9:47 AM on May. 19, 2011

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