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Telling people you're pregnant

My husband and I waited until I was 3 months along to tell his family. We were waiting to tell people since my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. My parents were the only ones who knew all along. I went through a rough patch with the pregnancy and needed my mother's support. Now my husband's mom is upset that he didn't tell her sooner and that my parents knew. His sister told him that he should have told their mother sooner. Any advice how to handle this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:19 PM on Dec. 6, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (6)
  • Well since you cannot go back in time and tell your MIL you're preggo, I would probably try to apologize for hurting her feelings. I can understand not telling anyone, we thought about doing that too but I couldn't keep it a secret :), but I think the future grandparents are a little different. My personal opinion is that if you told your parents, you probably should have told DH's too, just to be fair.

    Good luck!
    ap9902

    Answer by ap9902 at 11:23 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I'm kind a going through the same thing with my hubby's dad and step mom

    I also had miscarriages and don't want to tell till im 12 weeks i just would im sorry but we don't want to tell you just in case I miscarried again
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Just explain that because of previous problems you waited to tell because you didn't want them to live with the disappointment if something happened. You told your mother because frankly alot of moms are our best friends or best support system. They shouldn't begrudge you that.
    urthat1chick

    Answer by urthat1chick at 11:31 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I would try telling her I was sorry and explain to her why you did things like you did. Sounds like after having a miscarriage you was afraid of having another and didn't want anyone else to go through the pain of loosing another baby. But you needed your mom. It's ok to be an adult and need your mom. When I lost my youngest I was screaming "I want my mom" I was 39 yrs old at the time. Just explain you didn't want her to hurt again if you didn't carry this baby. Good luck with your pregnancy. Babies are so much fun and the best gift you could ever have.
    Xee

    Answer by Xee at 11:37 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I would apologize for hurting her feelings- after all, wouldn't you want that little baby of yours to tell you as soon as they found out? But as you apologize, try to help her understand why you told your mother. And another little bit to consider: By week 35 I was amazed that I'd been so eager to tell everyone at 12 weeks that I was pregnant. It really is a looooooonnnnnggg time. There's no rush, and you tell people on your time. After all- you're the one carrying the child, not them.
    sweetphoenix529

    Answer by sweetphoenix529 at 12:44 AM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • Humm.. well, simply tell explain to them your experience when you told everyone early. Tell them that typically people wait until their first trimester to tell the good news, just in case.
    I'm sure they'll be fine, just smile and tell them you want them involved in the long run of your pregnancy..
    chicmami

    Answer by chicmami at 1:38 AM on Dec. 7, 2008

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