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3 Bumps

Our mutual friend hit on me all weekend! adult content

My SO is out of town and an old friend of his who has become a mutual friend came to visit. My SO even asked if he'd decided to come visit and was happy I would have someone to hang out with.

Over the course of the weekend, he went from innocent compliments to down right saying he wanted to fuck me! (seriously, his words). He even slapped my ass while I was cooking supper and said he didn't care if it pissed my SO off. WTF!?

By the time he left, I just wanted my SO home, and had a good cry... The more I think about how badly he behaved, the more pissed I get. I've always had male friends, and NONE of them have any issue respecting me, or my personal boundaries, which I am very vocal about.
The part that scares me, is that I told my SO about what happened (I emailed him, because he's out of town) and I don't want to be blamed for HIS behavior... I've never given ANY indicator that I was interested, or that this was ok- I told him soooo many times that it wasn't!
We've never had any jealousy issues, no mistrust, nothing. I don't want some jackass to be the start of a downfall.

*I know I'm going to hear "You shouldn't have had him around"... So, I'll reiterate, this was a mutual plan with ALL of us- my SO, the friend, me... so that I wouldn't be stuck here alone. It's not something that we even thought twice about, he's never behaved like this before. We were all under the impression (at least my SO and I) that everything was cool.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on May. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Your husband should kick his teeth in for what he said to you & how he treated you in HIS home. Some friend. I would tell him & that's the end of that so called friend. DISRESPECTFUL.

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 1:23 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • The minute that you started to feel uncomfortable you really should have asked him to leave. I would rather be by myself than subject myself to harrassment. Your SO should tell him off.

    Answer by HollyBoBolly at 1:31 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Yuck. :( It sounds like this friend will need to be dropped. He has proven he is untrustworthy, and he has no respect for you, your husband, or your marriage.

    I think it is really important for us women to be strong and set out boundaries. The minute he started in with the flirting is the time to show him the door. Don't ever feel like you have to endure that kind of abuse.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:32 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I agree that he needed to be shown the door as fast as possible after he started in with that shit, but it is not like you were looking for it, welcomed it, etc. You told him no, you told your SO, etc.

    I would assume your SO will cut off contact with this man, if not let him know how he feels about it!

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 1:36 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • You should have told him to leave that he was being inappropriate and that you would be telling your SO of the fact...if your SO blames YOU for HIS behavior then you need to kick him in his nutts!!


    Answer by happymama02 at 1:41 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Ugh. I'd have given his sac a good, solid, "I-will-eat-your-lunch-AND-take-your-shoes!" Pinch and twist and clearly stated something to the effect of get the eff out.. That is oh, so VERY disrespectful, and your so needs to address this with said "friend" immediately.

    Answer by matobe at 1:41 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I wanted to ask him to leave, but he'd had more to drink than I was OK with him driving with- and he lives 5 hours away... I *never* would have imagined that he would behave this way. My SO is simply in disbelief, he said that he owes me a *huge* apology, and won't be welcome around again.

    I feel horrible, because this is someone I trusted. Someone who my SO and I could sit and have a few drinks with... someone who my SO has known for more than 15 years!
    This isn't normal behavior for him, not from what I've seen, or my SO has... he's been single for 18 months now, and I knew he was lonely, but this is just horrible.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:41 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Well he has no respect for you or his friend. and if it was my husband he would kick his a**.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 1:42 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Don't feel bad HE chose to take a chance and act that way to you behind his friend's back to his friend's WIFE he was testing ya out & you didn't go for it. HE should feel bad & HE ruined it.

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 1:56 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Dont'e feel bad for HIS choices...I dont care how much he had to drink or how lonely he is...ur his supposed to be friends woman and he had no right at all to make any comments or most deff. not to touch you.

    Answer by happymama02 at 2:07 PM on May. 19, 2011

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