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Why is he acting like this?

My SO and I have had a really crappy week. His cousin passed away early this week and than our dog died yesterday. It feels like he's taking ALL of his emotions out on me. All week he has been getting mad at me and saying that I don't pay any attention to him. I have worked till at least nine every night this week and than had to come home and take care of our baby and than do school work (finals are next week). By the time I make it to bed I am tired, but I still ask him if he's doing okay. He always tells me he's fine. I ask him at least 3 times "Are you sure?" I don't want to over do it, so I usually just let it go. I know he's not okay, but he NEVER talks to me about his feelings.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Dec. 7, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • (op continue)...

    Anyways, he's out of town for his cousin's funeral and he just blew up on me. I finally had it and told him that this wasn't something I wanted to talk about while he was away and I would talk about it when he got home. I don't know if I should just take all of his emotions or put him in his place?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • Don't put him in his place. He just doesn't know what to do with his emotions right now and taking it out on you is the only way he knows how to deal with it. He probably needs more from you than asking if he is ok. He probably just wants you to take some time out to sit and talk to him... just start talking about your work day or your class for a few minutes and see if that strikes a conversation to help him open up about what he is going through right now. At the same time don' t let him walk all over you either. Make sure you tell him how he is treating you hurts you and you want to support him, just not by being his dart board.
    cat1622

    Answer by cat1622 at 12:58 AM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • cat speaks wise words. You should listen.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:21 AM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • Sounds to me like you have no time for him. Like your job and school is more important then your relationship. You didn't even go with him to a family funeral. It may have only been his cousin, but if it's affecting him this much obviously you should have gone. You need to check your priorities. What's more important, your family or school and work?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 AM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • I did want to go. But I have finals all this coming week and the funeral is on Monday and they left early Saturday morning. I'm behind in my classes and I have to get caught up. Trust me I wanted to go. Plus, the baby has been sick and I have to work this weekend. I didn't know his cousin, I have never met him because he was in the war. The only reason I would of gone is to be with my SO (he went with his family). We decided together that it would be better for me to stay home and get everything taken care of. So, don't tell me that I put everything else in front of our relationship.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • my hubby gets the same way he for the most part contains his emotions but when they build up he dosn't know where to put them they all dump on me

    you need to stop all that your doing put everything aside and focus on just him ... just askin if he's ok at the end of the night prolly just is not enough at the moment
    rachael596

    Answer by rachael596 at 12:02 PM on Dec. 9, 2008

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