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2 Bumps

How would this have made you feel? sorry it's long, you know i ramble on and on lol but if you have time please read :)

went to a psychologist this morning for the first time ever, i've been struggling with anxiety/anxiety attacks for 2 years now and i finally decided to take control and get help. turns out i have anxiety disorder and PTSD surrounding a traumatizing event that happened to my 2 year old. hopefully i can just keep up with talking to this guy weekly and not resort to anti-depressants.

anyway, hubby and i are currently not living together, since Mother's Day. he went to stay with his mom because he also has PTSD from his overseas tour in 07-08, and was using marijuana as a self-medication technique, and ended up needing it so badly he was draining us financially. not to mention he's on probation for the offense surrounding the traumatic event and shouldn't be using illegal drugs anyway.

so i call him when i get back from the appt, eager to share how it went. it was around 11am, and he was half-asleep still, and in a crabby mood. so this turned me off to want to share my problems with him, and i told him to call me later. well he did about an hour and a half later, and didn't seem real interested in what was going on with me. and that hurts because i am always anxious to hear how his therapy is going. it seems he's so self-absorbed that only his problems are valid.

well anyway, i tried not to let that rain on my parade and then he proceeds to tell me that he was "picking up the house for mom (my mil) today". now that struck a nerve. he's been unemployed for over a month and when he was living here he didn't lift a finger to housework or parenting, unless i asked and even then he rolled his eyes and had a pissy attitude about it. so now here i am busting my ass to play both roles while he's gone (sleeping all fuckin day), cleaning the house, maintaining the budget/bills, and he shares that he's going to willingly and happily pick up for his mom. talk about feeling under-appreciated. he seemed to have no clue why that would upset me.

i am happy that he respects his mom and her household, and i've always known he has momma's boy syndrome, and its usually them two versus me. however we're suppose to be working on ourselves and our marriage and i just don't get the impression that he's doing that. i don't even feel like he misses his kids or me, even though he says he does. i feel like he's just reaping the benefits of living with his mom again, having her all but wipe his butt for him.

anyway how would you have felt by this stuff? i can be a bit over-sensitive so please feel free to share your opinion either way. as my psychologist told me today.. "nobody can control your emotions but you" lol

 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 4:29 PM on May. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Its good to hear your in thereapy. I have to agree it may be a ideal to await for him to give you a call and ask you how your day going and keep him guessing on where you going with the conversation he has started. don't get upset so quickly. work on getting your marriage in order get your DH home.you deserve peaceful marriage
    5heartbeats

    Answer by 5heartbeats at 5:58 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • (((((HUGS)))))
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:33 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I can understand why it bothered you. I am really glad to hear therapy is helping you!!!!

    Maybe try not calling him for a couple days to see if he calls back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I completely understand - I would be very upset too. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I hope your therapy goes well for you (c:
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 4:49 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I hope therapy helps you both. My advice - make him miss you. Don't call or contact him. Wait until he contacts you.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 7:36 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • dont take him pickin up ur mil house wrong. sometimes you do things you wouldnt normally do when your at someone elses house. and since hes unemployed maybe that was a stipulation for him to stay there? idk. maybe you should make the comment that maybe when he moves back home he should bring that practice with him.
    dramaMama407

    Answer by dramaMama407 at 8:55 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • all good advice. and i am "backing off" so to speak after he pretty much gave me that vibe earlier. i haven't called/text him since then... nor has he contacted me... :(
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 8:13 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • In all the world,
    there is no one else exactly like me -
    everything that comes out of me is authentically mine,
    because I alone choose it - I own everything about me - my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
    whether they be to others or to myself -
    I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears -
    I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me - by so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts -
    I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,
    and other aspects that I do not know -
    but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
    I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me -
    However I look and sound, whatever I say and do,

    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 6:58 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turned out to be unfitting, I can discard that which I feel is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded -
    I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do.
    I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,
    and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me -
    I own me, and therefore I can engineer me -
    I am me &

    I AM OKAY

    by Virginia Satir
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 6:58 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • so by that i mean, let him be him, and you be you....
    it correlates with your psych that said "nobody can control your emotions"
    cuz its true.
    my psych gave me this, i hope it helps you as much as it helps me!
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 7:01 PM on May. 21, 2011

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