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2 Bumps

How do I motivate my child to get better grades?

I have a 13 year old girl in the 7th grade. She has the ability to be an all A student and is bringing home D's. Her father and I have dealt with this issue for 3 years now. It looks as if she will most likely retake the 7th grade. She does her homework, and then doesn't turn it in. The teachers say she participates in class and has the correct answers, but her grades do not reflect the smarts in her head. We have tried a lot of different motivations, grounded her for long periods of time, etc. I know she is bored, but she needs to have the grades before the school system will place her in accelerated classes. We have even been to counseling for her - the counselor released us and said she was so smart she knew what the counselor was doing to try and stay 2 steps ahead of her. So the counselor said she couldn't help her and released her. We are at our wits end. If there is anyone who has any advice on how we can help our child, I would appreciate hearing it. She is not skipping classes, doing drugs, or any of those things - so they are not an issue. It's just basically the boredom and rebellion. We have implemented all sorts of procedures over the last 3 years to help her achieve better grades - all to no avail. PLEASE HELP US!!! Thank You - geniewit

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on May. 19, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (21)
  • Take away technology and anything related, and offer money to buy them back, you get $ by bringing in the good grades. Come up with a sum for each A, only pay for A's.

    Answer by older at 6:09 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I agree with the above. Make them earn stuff back.

    Answer by chiquis at 7:10 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Show her what'll happen if she keeps it up. Deadend jobs, no college, possibly even homelessness... Or whip her ass and make sure you wont have to take care of her until she's 40

    Answer by Zarviemom19 at 7:11 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • You might have the teachers sign that they got the homework. We set up a system with teachers so we could monitor our son's homework. He had to write the assignment in his notebook or the words 'no homework' and then he went by the teacher's desk as he left class for them to sign the notebook. You could do this and also put 'homework received' and have them sign for that everyday. That way you could see that it is getting turned in. Our son didn't like it at first but soon was OK with it and actually ended up having a great relationship with a couple of those teachers. just ideas...........

    Answer by whitepeppers at 7:16 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • BUMP, we have the same issues with our 12 yr old, been to counseling, talking with teachers, I even have a copy of her books here at home for her. We're also at our witts end. Looking forward to seeing some suggestions.My dd school, as a sort of report card they bring home every Friday, is says what assigemnts are missing and if they have behaved that week. We have on line grades, so I can see her grades. That is how I catch the "O's" - its so frustrating when there is 89, 100, and 95 and three 0"s that averages a grade below 70,

    Answer by SassySue123 at 8:53 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • If they continue to fail tey go off to military school...get brochures and take a weekend trip there so they know you are for real.

    Answer by Jazmineamomma at 11:00 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • You just described me at age 13. It's called laziness. I was a very lazy pre-teen and teen. Taking everything away will not motivate her. I couldn't tell you what motivated me to start trying harder and applying myself by the time I got to high school. I think my parents threatened to throw my ass out when I turned 18 and graduated (barely) high school. I did just fine in high school and finally finishing up my college education.. 12 years after graduating high school and I'm doing just fine.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 12:24 AM on May. 20, 2011

  • I don't have any answers for you, but hang in there. I hope you find something that works for her.

    Answer by bether89 at 1:01 AM on May. 20, 2011

  • Take care of it in two ways...

    1. Punish her for bad grades with loss of privlages, allowance, or whatever. Tell her how very disapointed you are.

    2. Reward her for good grades. Like a shopping trip or party for all A's. My parents used to buy me a gift for each A. Another year I got 5 dollars for each A. Whatever you can afford to do. And make sure you are really enthusiastic and happy for her.

    Answer by amber710 at 8:39 AM on May. 20, 2011

  • I definately dont agree with Tam that you should just allow her to fail and act like you cant do anything. You should not send the message that it is ok to be lazy unless you want an adult child living at home later...

    Answer by amber710 at 8:41 AM on May. 20, 2011

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