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4 Bumps

I feel selfish :(

For the last three years my husband has been VERY very particular about going to the gym and what he eats. I respect the fact that he wants to be healthy and in shape. And honestly, his body has definitely changed a lot in the past 3 years. But it's also getting kind of annoying sometimes. Like, him being obsessed with what he eats and not eating. We don't eat out a lot because he doesn't want to eat certain things. I like going out to eat for the atmosphere and just to get out. And lately, he is so busy with work and school is going to be adding onto that later in the summer and he works out like an hour or so a day. It's like I never see him! He knows I get so worn out and exhausted from watching our DD all day long. He gets off work, and then goes straight to the gym. It's like ugh when do I ever get time to myself!? Everything wraps about when he's going to the gym and when/what he eats. Like when we DO go out, he's like "ugh that goes into gym time" i'm like OMG this is family time now...have some fun once in awhile!

I totally get that he wants to be healthy and everything. It's consumes his time! mentally and physically. What do I do? I feel so selfish about all this. It's just getting annoying. Also, when he gets money and it has to go to bills he's like "aw I can't get protein now!" He spends so much money on protein!!! I don't get to get my nails done or anything like that. Idk..ugh. I'm venting lol.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on May. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Keep a detailed list of how he spends his time, then show it to him. Tell him he is a family man and need to contribute to family time.

    Answer by meooma at 6:46 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I'm sorry he is consumed with it all. Have you tried talking to him?

    Answer by smurfyangel at 6:46 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I don't think you're being selfish at all. It's great that he cares about his body... but he's neglecting your relationship. I'm sure he doesn't realize it's this bad. Talk to him. Tell him you miss him, and that you want to date again... Good luck! :)

    Answer by CeeCee333 at 6:47 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees it this way! I forgot to add that we just got married. So his priorities need to change. I have tried talking to him but it doesn't come out right and I just feel stupid talking about it. Like for instance, today he said he was going to the gym at 6. Okay his work schedule is until 6 everyday...I don't even get to eat dinner with him anymore! I am pregnant...I can't wait till 730 or 8 to eat. So today when he said that I was like We aren't even gonna be able to eat dinner together until 8!? Can you go at 5 or something? And he said ah alright i guess I can go at 5. Well, he comes home to make food. I was like I thought you were gonna work out at 5 (it was like 4 then) and he said no i said i was going at 6. Im like we just talked about this!! And he felt guilty and almost left but I wa slike no your already cooking food you cant just leave it. I just thought you said you would go earlier

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:53 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • is it a family gym by chance?

    Answer by girlglow6 at 6:54 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • so that we could eat dinner together.....

    I'm just frustrated i guess because it cuts into family time. If he got up early and went to the gym thats one thing. But even still, summer school starts and he will be gone from 8-12 then he works from 12-6. when the hell is he gonna work out then!? ill never see him. UGH.


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:55 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • No it's the gym at the university we go to.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:56 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Your not being selfish. He is.  Tell him you wont some time to yourself too.   Tell him he has to make some time for family time and time for you to have alone time away  from your DD.


    Answer by louise2 at 7:01 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Ask him if he's forgotten there are TWO people in your relationship! ALL I hear in your post is his attention to HIS needs, HIS time, His health, His food preference, HIS workouts etc. Tell him there is no "I" in "Us". The man needs to start seeing you as an individual, as well as his wife, & learn to accept the fact that because you are your own person, you should not be expected to like & go along everything he likes. If you want to go out to eat, you should be able to go without him ruining that experience for you by his food comments. Tell him to order a frikkin' salad if he's that worried about his body. Dont make the mistake of catering to all his needs & wants while neglecting your own, because once you start that bad habit, he'll always expect that from you. I suggest you sit down & tell him a compromise & consideration for you is in order.

    Answer by RubyinPA at 7:09 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • ask him to go before work or maybe change the membership to a place where you all could go as a family...

    Answer by girlglow6 at 7:15 PM on May. 19, 2011

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