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2 Bumps

:-( help

what do you do when a five year old refuses to talk when they are in trouble?

she was playing with her cousin and shoved her and then I asked her why she did it and she just stops talking and it's every time she gets in trouble and she just wont talk for about 15 min and the more questions I ask the longer she's silent!!!!


Asked by traren at 7:31 PM on May. 19, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 17 (3,809 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • When my daughter refuses to talk, I ask her if she's afraid of the consequences if she tells me the truth. She usually says yes. I then tell her that NOT telling the truth will have more serious consequences. If she chooses to remain silent, that's her choice, but it's my responsibility as her mother to determine the appropriate course of action and I need all the information to do that. If she will not provide the information, then she gets a privilege taken away until she talks. I try to let her know during that conversation that I will listen to everything she has to say about it before making any decisions.

    Answer by nepenthe429 at 11:18 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Send her to timeout until she is ready to talk about what happened.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 7:42 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • 'If you can't tell me what happened, I can't help you learn how to handle to next time so you don't get in trouble again. You can sit right here on this chair until you decide to talk to me about this. The quicker we can discuss what happened the quicker we can decide how we are going to correct the problem and the quicker you can get back to playing/watching the movie/eating/whatever.'

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:43 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Let her calm down and then try. If she seems unusual in it then talk to a therapist.

    Answer by Octobersmom at 7:57 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • well... if they are simply afraid they will get into more trouble you can let them be and let them know that you would be glad to listen when they are willing to talk.

    IF this is a serious non-talking issue... try having them draw pictures or seeking out side help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:33 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I've tried talking to her and tried her standing with her nose on the wall put her in time out and then wait and ask her why she did it and she just shrugs her shoulders and puts her hands in her mouth and refuses to talk . I tried standing her against then wall and told her she couldn't move until she talked to me she just stood there for 20 min still refused to talk!!!! so I told her she'd have to stay there til she answered me she still just stood there another 15 min goes by nothing i sent her to her room to get her night clothes gave her an early bath and was drying her hair and asked her again by this time about 1 1/2 hours has gone by and she said because I was not listening which is her answer for everything every time she gets in trouble no matter what she did.


    Comment by traren (original poster) at 7:57 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • was this a single incident? what did she do exactly?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:05 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Honestly it would annoy me. I might sit her down somewhere and tell her she can get up after we talk about what happened.

    Answer by meooma at 8:15 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • no, today she shoved her cousin in the back pushed her so hard that she ended up on the floor hands scrapped and hit her head on a chair in the dinning room. and lately it's something different everyday... she's acting up, talking back, is extremely bossy when playing with others, refuses to share and has to be in control of play dates tells others how to play .


    Comment by traren (original poster) at 8:17 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • it does annoy me I just don't now what to do I've tried time out , standing on the wall, sitting in a chair, sitting next to me, not letting her do the things she likes to do .... all of these at seperate times please don't think I'm just mean I love her very much I just don't know how to get her to answer me when i ask her why she did something wrong!!!!

    Comment by traren (original poster) at 8:22 PM on May. 19, 2011