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Did you change any of your parenting "philosophies" once you actually had children?

I have. For example, I used to be all for spanking, but now, as a mother, I can't bring myself to do it and feel it's sort of wrong. I'm not bashing anyone who does spank, I'm just giving an example. I also used to be anti-formula until I hadto feed it to my son out of necessity(or supplement with it rather), and he thrived on it. The longer I'm a mother, the more I find myself changing my old opinions on parenting and discovering new ones. Anyone else?


Asked by LovingSAHMommy at 9:38 PM on May. 19, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 40 (115,957 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I think that every child is different, and what works with one child may not work with another. So I didn't go into raising my child thinking any one preconceived notion. I wanted to BF, and I did for a while, and I supplemented with formula, but he was SO not into BF'ing by 10 mos, so that was that. Life happens. My child is sleeping in our bed and he's 8 yo and if someone had told me that 8 years ago I would have freaked, but now it's what is working for us, so I guess my philosophy has changed, but don't really have time to examine it.

    Good question!

    Answer by dwmom2008 at 10:41 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • Yes, before: SUPER old school.

    after; SUPER crunchy attachment free range type. LOL

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 9:55 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I have made my philosophy to never make a decision until I have to. That lets me avoid the foot in the mouth syndrome.

    Answer by Audrice1985 at 10:34 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • When I was pregnant with my first, I never thought I would co-sleep, but my first baby was a co-sleeper and my second was a crib sleeper. Now I think it's best to just do what works best with that baby.
    I didn't have a strong opinion one way or the other about formula, although I knew I would breastfeed. After having my first baby, I couldn't imagine ever offering my children formula.
    When my first baby was younger, I was totally uneducated about car seats and turned him forward too early and put him in a booster too early. Now he's almost 9 and in a high back booster and my almost 6 year old is in a 5 point harness and they both will be for a long time to come.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 9:41 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I really had no parenting philosophy other than what I observed and what I read in Dr Benjamin Spock's Baby and Child Care book. I was pretty consistent and had expectations and standards of behavior and they didn't change. My kids turned out well --they didn't get in trouble or use drugs or have problems at school and they all got 4 year college degrees.and now they are grown up with their own families. I was raised in the 1950's ... the "Leave it To Beaver" years... and my kids went to school in the 70's and 80's with really nice kids all over the USA and Germany becasuse we were an Air Force family. I think that was good for them.:-)

    Answer by minnesotanice at 10:18 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Yup i said i would never spank, formula feed, co sleep, hold them all day, put cereal in the bottles lol i said alot lol

    Answer by kyheavensmom at 10:18 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I use to think I couldn't breast feed because I had soo many issues with my first dd, turns out I should have sought a lactate consultant because the nurses showed me wrong at the hospital about proper latching, and she had major nipple confusion issues, etc. (all of which I didn't really learn until I already had her on formula and had dried up).

    I use to also think that they should have the chance to know their father and be a part of his life even if we weren't together.. wow was that a mistake. He left and I'm sooo glad he's out of the picture. (he's definitely got some issues, that I DO NOT what my kids around).

    the rest I don't have philosophies, just this is the way I'm doing it right now because of such and such, but if something changes that, I'll adapt.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 2:05 AM on May. 20, 2011

  • OH YES!! But it all didn't change after the first, as I've had more kids, and as I have had more exposure to the world, more and more changes. And I imagine that I will continue to change.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 10:40 AM on May. 20, 2011

  • Not really. I didn't have a philosophy before having my son. I really didn't want kids so didn't think about how I would parent. When my son was born I kind of found my parenting style along the way. My son is a person who is constantly changing so what I do as a parent is always changing. Been a very fun journey.

    Answer by chaiteamomma at 11:12 AM on May. 20, 2011

  • I've changed from child to child, but more from experience than anything. I didn't want children, so I didn't really have philosophies before they came along. And the things I did believe I would do, I do, no changes there.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:06 AM on May. 20, 2011