Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would this make you angry?

My bff and her dh split for a while and got back together. He accused her of cheating. I backed her and said there was no way she would cheat. I would know because we are so close. Her dh would call and discuss the issue with me. I was so certain shw had not, and would not, cheat on him that he finally believed her and they got back together. I did ask her several times if she had cheated, and chose not to tell me. She always said no way.

Well they are definitley splitting now. She admitted to him that she cheated on him with 3 different men. He called me and was so angry at me for lying to him. I honestly had no idea. I am just as dumbfounded as him. I refuse to answer her calls, texts, or emails. I am so angry she did this to her family, and all the while let me look like a fool for defending her.

For the record...I was drug into this mess by her in the very beginning. I believed she never cheated. So when her dh started asking me what I did and did not know I thought I was telling the truth.

I feel stupid. I can't imagine how her dh feels.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on May. 19, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Typically, my response would be that sometimes people are better at being a friend/mother/cousin/aunt/sister than they are at being a wife, and that you can't let how their marriage worked out strip them of their friends and family, too. BUT the fact that she dragged you into this and didn't tell you the truth goes against being a good friend.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:14 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Thats one reason not to get into other peoples business. I think you cant ever know one way or another whether someone has or hasnt cheated, therefore I would never take sides on something like that personally, as your only going on one persons word......its not something many people will admit even to people close to them. I think issues in peoples marriage should be dealt with by the people in the marriage only, otherwise it turns into a mess. I can understand you wanting to stand behind your friend, but you can do this without getting involved by just listening, but you also should have your limits, someone can only drag you into something if you let them, I would think twice about doing it again.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 9:45 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Heck yeah I'd be angry! Poor guy. After the initial pissed-offedness (it's a real word, I swear! :-)), maybe he will be open to talking to you again, but he's prob done with women for a bit! GL

    Answer by arpkdmom at 9:45 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • It is up to you if you want to end the friendship over this, but fact is she lied to you. And she put you on the spot and trapped you into lying for her without you knowing.
    Her DH cant be mad at you, he is just angry and looking for someone to blame. He is hurt, so try not to take it too personally. He is grieving and its easy to be mad at you and blame you.
    You did what you can, just ignore her for now until you are certain how you want to deal with this. if you want to move on or if you want to try to rebuild the friendship. GL

    Answer by sassy_brizzy at 9:51 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I hope he speaks to me again. I want him to know I will help with the kids if he needs me too. They are like family to me.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:47 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • You have every right to be mad. She put you in the middle, and lied to you on top of that, making you look just a guilty really. I'm sorry you're dealing with this and hope you can work out the friendship with him to still be in the kids' lives.

    Answer by musicspeak4me at 10:22 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I vouched for my friend and she put me in a bad place she cheated and I found out before her husband did and I asked her if she did cheat and when she confessed I told her she better tell him before someone else does and she did. But after we were never friends again.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:50 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • i think the ballon just bursted on its own time. don't feel guilt otherwise feel sorry for her you can no longer be her parrot. move on, she's not even worth the defence.

    Answer by brenda140 at 10:05 PM on May. 19, 2011