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Why am I still stuck on my ex-husband?

I am going through a divorce right now, and for most of the short marriage we were together for, my husband was away. Either physically or emotionally. He is in the Marines, and they turned him into a very different person than he was when we met. I have endured abuse, cheating, alchoholism, strip clubs, lying, and even illegal activities that he will be court martialed soon for. We have a 10 month old boy that was born while he was deployed. I divorced him and moved back home with my folks to give my son and I a chance at a serene and safe life. But I ache for him like I should still be with him and owe him my heart. I guess I am having trouble believing in divorce but it was BAD not healthy for me or raising a happy son. I want to help my ex he needs so much therapy but I know I can't save him...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:30 AM on Dec. 7, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • Just a guess, but you probably dreamed about what life would be like the whole time he was away. You probably didn't even think about things going sour. Since you didn't get to live out what you imagined, you probably haven't had the proper closure. I'm so proud of you for doing what is best for your child and yourself! Give it time and you will get over him....Just because he needs help doesn't mean that you don't love him anymore...you just love who is was before. Don't we always want what we can't have? Good luck :o)
    KaceesMom

    Answer by KaceesMom at 2:35 AM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • I would say pray for him. Not sure your spiritual belief though. Can you try counseling and staying separated for a little bit. I hear lives are transformed through Jesus christ. :)
    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 2:40 AM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • You are so right about the him being different when He joined the Marines. They have that affect on people. They become hard and emotionless(is that a word),but, you have to also realize that the USMC are a branch all unto themself.The cheating,lying, and drinking has nothing to do with the USMC, it just seems it does since he joined. The hardness in him is true.Its hard to be a wife of a Marine and you can ask anyone who is. He turned out the way he did because it was his choice to do so and for no other reason.He probably went in with blinders on. I am sorry you are going thru this.You will always have an attachment to him because of your son but, thats not a bad thing. Take it one day at a time and eventually it will get better.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:13 AM on Dec. 7, 2008

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