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3 Bumps

Would you be comfortable in your relationship if

your SO, the guy you've pass almost everyday of the past 5 years with, your first Real love, and the father of your child, doesn't want to marry you ?
I'm not in a rush, but I would like for us to be a real family, for my baby to grow up knowing that mommy and daddy are married together...
but he says that there are some parts of me he doesnt want to be married with. how should I take it ?

 
kokomaman

Asked by kokomaman at 10:47 PM on May. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,413 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • in my opinion if he says he loves you then he should be able to accept you for who you are and apparently theres things about you hes not happy with, but don't change to please him because then you would be unhappy. And if marriage is important to you but not him maybe its not meant for you guys, but that doesn't mean that there isn't someone out there for you.
    One thing me and my boyfriend discussed was that just because i was pregnant we wasn't getting married because i wanted to know that he was marrying me because he loved me not because he got me pregnant.
    but its your decision to make. but sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel about all thats going on and he might see whats going on and where you are coming from.
    Vivian0331

    Answer by Vivian0331 at 1:59 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • As a red flag. sorry to hear :(
    EgoTryptophan

    Answer by EgoTryptophan at 10:50 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • If he can't love ll of you, then you shouldn't want to be married to any of him! I would move on...
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:09 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I would be pissed. Absolutely livid. If he loves you like you say you love him, he should be willing to do it today.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 10:51 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • but he says that there are some parts of me he doesnt want to be married with.

    ____________________________________

    OUCH! That's really hurtful...maybe you should really think if you want to continue being in this relationship.
    GomezMami2908

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 10:52 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Sounds to me like he has alot he needs work out with himself but doesn't want to face the fact that he might not be perfect so he's putting it as there's something wrong with you. Don't buy into his BS, just let him know that there are plenty of men out there that will accept you for you.
    musicspeak4me

    Answer by musicspeak4me at 10:54 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • Well I would try my best to not let emotion take over (easier said than done) and I would ask him to explain to me the things that make him hesitant about marrying you. Keep an open mind and really consider if he makes any valid points. If he does it might be a good opportunity to grow. BUT if none of his reasons make sense and marriage is an important value to you and it's not something he ever sees himself wanting then I would seriously consider how compatible the two of you are. I dated someone for a long time who just didn't believe in marriage. But after his past experiences and encounters with marriages I couldn't blame him. Ultimately though I knew it was something I wanted and couldn't ever really be happy without. This is a crossroads that is going to take some heavy introspection. GL
    kayslay

    Answer by kayslay at 11:03 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • *All*
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:09 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • I would feel like he doesn't respect me and is using me. To answer your question, no, I would not be comfortable. Honey, he wants his cake and eat it too! You REALLY want to get married??? Ultimatum time. The BS about not liking parts of you enough to marry is complete and utter BS. He is testing you to see what a pushover you are, he's trying to see what you're made of...to test the waters to see how long he can continue having his cake and eating it too.
    Isaidit

    Answer by Isaidit at 10:53 PM on May. 19, 2011

  • There are more fish in the sea. You can do better. Some day a real man will come along and be very happy to spend the rest of his life with you...just wait until he comes along...and he will. I promise. : )
    Ruthmom802

    Answer by Ruthmom802 at 11:07 PM on May. 19, 2011

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