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Surrogate mother and travel?

I have been talking with a mother earlier today and we got on the topic of pregnancy. Well, I have cancer cells that keep coming back on my cervix and soon I won't be able to carry my own children. We started talking about this and she offered to carry for me, i live in NY and she is in FL. Do you think that if we go this route if I should travel down there to meet her and make regular visits (with my new business it would be extremely possible) while she is carrying (once or twice a month for a few days because I can't move because of custody agreement)... OR should I just find someone a little closer that I could pay to do it? She is an awesome woman and I don't have to worry about her health and what she does or doesn't eat, drink or smoke.. and pretty well stress free. I really DON'T want to take this route, but one more surgery and I won't be able to have anymore pregnancy's, let alone carry to full term.. It's a decision only we can make, but i'm hoping that someone can shed some light on the subject because I don't want to have to worry about my future baby in that way. Either way is doable as far as money goes, like I said I work from home and work is great and a big money earner.. the issue is more family and flying down there frequent like that (but I trust her and know her.. not like anyone around here)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:34 AM on May. 20, 2011 in Travel

Answers (4)
  • i would wanna have her carry the baby since you know her :) GOOD LUCK!
    mamawilbur

    Answer by mamawilbur at 1:36 AM on May. 20, 2011

  • the advice i would give you would be legal. as in, whatever you decide, make sure it's in writing, everything. i would research laws in both your state, and hers, and have a chat with a lawyer who specializes in that kind of thing. never EVER agree to do something like that until you do. that way, when the baby comes, there's no confusion about anything.
    as far as visiting her a lot, you would have to ask her how comfortable she would be with you coming to see her all the time. women have doctor's appts once a month in the beginning, so i wouldn't see accompanying her to the appts too out of the ordinary. i'm sure she would appreciate the company. but make sure she's okay with everything, so she won't feel soffocated.
    also, what does your husband say? decisions like that should go through him, too, in case he's not ready for another child, or is umcomfortable with the idea of someone else carrying it. is your friend married?
    AngryBob

    Answer by AngryBob at 4:20 AM on May. 20, 2011

  • Would it be possible to "move" her closer to you for the pregnancy, or the second half, or something like that?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:34 AM on May. 20, 2011

  • moving HER closer, now that's an idea! I'm not sure if she would feel good leaving her family, but that is an option I will have to seek. Yes, she is married and her husband knows she is willing, he was there when we were talking! As far as mu hubby goes, I want to know my course of action before I present it to him. If it's FL i'd like to tell him that, if it's closer I would like to talk about that. It's not a friendly conversation to have, so I want to have all the bases figured out before I even try and suggest it to him. (plus I would have to figure out where to go to have the egg's held).
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:27 AM on May. 20, 2011

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