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my SO says he doesnt want kids right now...but I do...

Okay so I have sat down and talked to my SO and he said that he is ready but he is scared. I told him I was scared to but we eventually have to do it. And then when I talk to him another time he is like no were not having kids right now. But yet he REFUSES to use a condom. And he wont pull out. So do you think maybe he just doesnt want to admit it? I notice that he tells his friends that he is not ready and I wonder if its because he is embarrassed. I just dont get it. I even try to make him use a condom because I will not force him to have kids if he doesnt want to. So whats the deal?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:17 AM on Dec. 7, 2008 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (4)
  • He probably doesnt want the pressure of trying. Alot of men are that way. Hes not wearing a condom because he doesnt care if you get pregnant or not. In other words he wants a child but probably just doesnt want to talk about it all the time and wants to just see if it happens.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:52 AM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • hate to say it but if he says he doesnt want kids, then dont have sex unless he wears one. men are bad about talking about things so dont talk about it, just say how it is. be honest too, tell him its confusing and he should make up his mind.

    Answer by imanixon2 at 10:31 AM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • If he's saying he doesn't want kids, don't push him. It will force him to over-think it and come up with more and more reasons why he doesn't want them. And if he's sure he doens't want a child, tell him you guys either use birth control methods or doesn't get sex because if you do get pregnant and he doesn't want to, you don't want him resenting you about it.

    Answer by briezysmommy at 4:37 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • Typical man... can't commit to saying that he is ready to start trying, can't take the responsibility of it. If he was so set against it he would either wear a condom or pull out. I say he is ready... just go with the flow and see what happens. He can't "blame" a pregnancy on you because he had a part in birth control too and chose not to use it. Good luck and lots of baby dust to you!


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

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