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Why do so many girls want to have babies without being married?

I just don't understand all the baby mama and baby daddy stuff. What ever happened to mommy and daddy in it together for the long run? Is it simply because they can get more financial assistance if they are single?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Dec. 7, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (69)
  • I don't think the real issue here is whether or not they intend to get pregnant out of wedlock, but I think the issue is that our society doesn't value the sanctity of marriage. We live in a society that not only accepts but openly promotes and glorifies extramarital sex. Of course, since sex was designed to make babies, it's not an "accident" if you get pregnant! That's what sex is designed to do! I just think that girls are taught to be sex objects from day one and not to value themselves and save themselves for their husbands.
    This is a sad truth, but truth nonetheless.

    There will probably be backlash from this post because even Christians nowadays find ways to justify this. We as humans justify what we want to do by any means necessary. I am not writing this to take a stab at anyone, simply to illustrate my deepest convictions and true beliefs on the matter.

    Answer by MelaSparks at 5:22 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • Im not sure what some girls motives are, but my husband and tried for a year before we had our daughter and we didnt get married until she was 18 months, however we knew that we were going to be together and it wasnt just something that would be over before the baby was even born if you know what I mean.

    Answer by asholan_07 at 1:54 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • Umm financial assistance??? Where? That's soooo not true. At least I'm not seeing it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • I was married then divorced and I am remarried now. I can honestly take the married life or not its just a peice of paper in the long run. What matters most is being together, being a family and loving your child. I dont get govt assistance. My dd is currently with her bf and is on her second baby and is in no rush to marry. She recieves no govt assistance either, her bf makes too much money for that! They just arent getting married until they feel ready to and they dont right now. They live together, love their baby, and share everything like they were married. I dont see the big deal in what someones personal choice is just bc it might not be a choice id make.

    Answer by gemgem at 1:55 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • yeah, thats what they plan. could this question be any more judgmental??
    im sure a lot of people dont sit there and pray they get pregnant when they arent married. its a lot harder. im sure a lot dont think their relationship with their SO wont work out in the future and im sure they dont hope that.

    youre pathetic. and so is this question. If only we could ALL be perfect like you.

    Answer by KelsoBabeyy at 1:56 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • me and my hubby didn't try... it was a surprise. i had just turned 18 when i found out.. we got married when my son was three months old. we weren't going to get married just bc i was pregnant.. and not all girls TRY to get pregnant before marriage. but some do and i don't understand why they would PURPOSELY PUT THEIR CHILDREN in that kind of situation of having to bounce back and forth between parents. and having to be on assistance and not being able to take care of your own (and if your on assistance i'm not bashing anyone) i'm just saying if your purposely doing it that is wrong

    Answer by krazyash023 at 1:58 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • We didn't TRY to get pregnant. It just happened. And we had celebrated our one-year anniversary just a few weeks before I got the positive test. So not EVERYONE is out there for child support and baby daddy/baby mama drama.

    PLEASE do not group all of us "unmarried" mothers into one group. I am in a stable, very happy relationship with my daughter's father and I DO NOT have to have a marriage certificate to validate that. We plan on getting married in the future, but we want to do it for US, not because we're having a baby. A baby is not a good enough reason to get married.

    Answer by caitxrawks at 2:07 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • Uhm. I'm not married. But I've been with my SO for five years, we're financially stable, we have our own house, own cars, pay all our bills. Can afford a baby.

    Honestly, part of the reason we aren't getting married right now is yes, I'd lose my financial aid for school, but that's the only aid we get.

    I agree with caitxrawks, not all of us unmarried mothers are scam artists.

    Answer by oliviasmomma09 at 2:09 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • In my opinion I think TOO many women think having a baby will "FIX" all the problems they are having in their lives. Never mind all the financial assistance they can get. To bad they dont realize having a kid without a daddy only makes it 10 times harder all the way around.

    Answer by vbruno at 2:16 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • my bf and i aren't married and our daughter was planned we wanted 2 have a baby for his mom who had cancer really bad in her brain but the sad thing is she died 6 days BEFORE i had her it was the most aweful thing that could of ever happened and she was the only one who supported my pregnancy and wanted 2 see this child my bf and i plan 2 get married but when were ready

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 2:23 PM on Dec. 7, 2008