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Should I be upset or thankful?

So my hubby to be is the worker for this family im a stay at home mommy. the last week ive been so sick ive had our 2 toddlers by myself because he goes to work at 7 n doesnt get home til 8 or 9 at night im pregnant and bi polor as hell. even though im still sick and feel like crap i got up n forced myself to clean the house because he hasnt helped at all even on his day off or the 2days he came home early hasnt helped with laundry or the kids or cleaning up or making any of the meals. hes about to start a 2nd job on monday where he will work 24hour shifts on an ambulance then on his days n nights off continue the job he has now where he will be working on a repo truck. he doesnt help now n is hardly ever home how is it going to be when he starts another job? i know he brings home the bacon but i cook it clean up after n change the diapers it causes. he loves working but im tired of being a single married mom you know? so should i be upset n talk to him about maybe choosing one job or the other or should i just be thankful that hes paying the bills and except that its my job to do everything else by myself?

Answer Question
 
tazzii310

Asked by tazzii310 at 3:09 PM on May. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 7 (155 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I'm sorry I am all for the man should help around the house but damn he will barley have time to sleep let alone help around the house.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:11 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • I think you should be both upset and thankful, but you need to sit down with him and explain how you feel and come up with some sort of compromise.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:13 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • As much as it sucks, him doing what he does is giving you the ability to be a SAHM...my advice, if you don't like it find a job outside of the home. IMHO (and this is how things are around our house) He goes to work, brings home the money, and I take care of everything else. I've been a full time working parent, it isn't easy.... but I wouldn't give up being able to stay at home with the kids right now. good luck.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 3:18 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • Is he working like a pack mule to make ends meet? Or would you still be financially comfortable if he didn't work as much? If he's doing it for financial reasons, then I don't see much choice beyond sucking it up & dealing, or cutting back on your expenses so that he can be home more.
    EgoTryptophan

    Answer by EgoTryptophan at 3:19 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • we've cut back so much so that he didnt have to take this 2nd job we are very comfortable right now i think he may be worried for this 3rd baby n thats why he wants to save so much which i am thankful for. i love him nomatter what i am thankful for everything he does but i dont feel like he feels the same about me. he works i do everything else and i mean everything else. he gets to go out with his brothers or friends every saturday night on his nights off i never get a break this is where im torn.
    tazzii310

    Comment by tazzii310 (original poster) at 3:25 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • ok, my argument for when I want my husband to help me around the house is that my job is 24/7 (when the kid get up during the night) and his averages to be 50-60 hours/week. We both work hard and do manual labor of sorts and I rarely ask for help. However, sometimes I don't feel well or am feeling down (we recently suffered a miscarriage and I've been a little depressed) and those are the times I need him to help. However, in your case, you can't use the same argument because you both pretty much work 24/7 :( It is tough. The only way it will get better is if there is anyway he doesn't have to work as much. If its the only way, then its just the way it is until your kids are older. If you love him and want to stay with him, you will just make it work until then. This is the "for better or worse part".
    If it didn't bother you much before, it probably bothers you now because you are pregnant and hormonal. It will get better!
    CJM_SHM

    Answer by CJM_SHM at 3:38 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • I would be thankful he is a hard worker. Yes, your job is hard too but isn't it all for the greater good?? So your kids can have a good life? Sometimes we have to make sacrifices in order to reap the benefits later. Believe me, I know what I am talking about. You gotta do what you gotta do. What if he was in the military & you didn't see him at all for months on end? Count your lucky stars, things could be a lot worse.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • I'm sorry, that's so hard. Remember that this is just a phase ok? You will someday not have so much work to do and feel better. It goes by fast! I would definately ask my dh for more help and I think you should go out every Friday night, even if it's just to go sit in a book store and have some peace and quiet!
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 12:47 AM on May. 21, 2011

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