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Long-distance relationship

I met this guy at my cousin's wedding about 4 months ago. He's been a friend of their family for 20 years, so he's got a solid reference. We've been talking on the phone every night for hours. Everything so far has been wonderful! But I'm flying up to see him for the first time next weekend, and it's the first time we'll physically be together. I am really anxious about it! The thing is (at the risk of sounding mean), he's a little dorky. In a good way- he's seriously one of the sweetest guys I've ever met and I love that about him, but I can't help but wonder "what if he's_________ (awkard, underconfident, quick, name your cliche)." I hate to be so superficial but there it is... anyone been in a similar situation? How did it go?


Asked by esr at 2:53 PM on Dec. 7, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • HEEHEE!! This reminds me of my ex bf. He had been known to the family for 25 yrs. He is the brother to my sister's bff. He and I started emailing and talking 7 yrs ago after not communicatiing for 18 yrs. So after a million long talks and emails we decided to meet halfway at a hotel. We met hit it off! could not stop talking! and he is a small framed guy, looks dorky at times. However the first weekend we spent together was amazing, not just sex but we really clicked.
    I did move into house from the city to the middle of nowhere. I realized then that having a long distance romance is not what it's cracked up to be. If we had been living in the same town and learned more of his friends, habits I would not have moved in with him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • I worry about that even when it isn't long distance. My hsuband and I were long distance stationed at two different bases but circumstances were a tad different for us. FYI dorkiness has nothing to do with performance. My husband is a huge dork and is extremely confident in himelf in all he does. When I can't deal with a crappy situation he is my back bone. As for sexually... well, I can't get enough.

    Answer by cat1622 at 3:45 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • I wouldn't take this relationship to serious. Sense you have only met him in person once, and only talked on the phone. I would go up their once, and if I didn't feel any sparks fly. I would drop him. Nicely of coarse.


    Answer by louise2 at 3:55 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • the good thing about it is that if he isn't good in bed and it doesn't work out with you then you can fly home and let things fade back to what it was.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:40 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • Thanks- it's nice to hear how other's experiences went!

    Answer by esr at 5:14 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • And thanks for not judging. Like I said, I feel a little shallow thinking like that since the generic response seems to be "if you really like the guy then that's something you should be able to work through together... blah blah blah." I know that's fair but it doesn't make me any less nervous about it, you know?

    Answer by esr at 5:16 PM on Dec. 7, 2008