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2 Bumps

Anyone have a friend or relative like this?

Have you ever lended a helping hand to someone, and afterwards its as if they expect it all the time? For instance, my SO's aunt. She's a sweet lady, really, but she has put herself in her current situation, and I don't think it's right that she's gotten to the point where she makes me feel guilty when i say "no, you can't borrown my car, AGAIN." The last time she did she said she was running to the post office 10 minutes down the road. An hour or so later she showed back up. Just yesterday she asked to use it again to go to the store which i said i have to go to the store anyway so just tell me what you need and ill grab it. No biggie. I ended up falling asleep so i didn't go when i had planned. The next morning she was so rude to me, as her comment stated "thanks alot, i really appreciate it." I said to her "listen i didn't do it on purpose, i fell asleep, im sorry". She says to me "well you could have called." Um, i was sleeping. Then she says "well I dont know why you didn't just give me the keys. What, you don't trust me??". Oh i see, you're laying the guilt trip on me, eh? So i fired back "No my car is not here for YOUR convenience. I pay for it, I say who drives it, when they drive it. Period." She has recently apologized to me but man! I already had to take back the spare key i gave her for EMERGENCIES because she was going in my house and taking things like toilet paper, paper towels, coffee, dish soap, you name it. She would do things like vacuum or wash the few dishes in the sink and think she could just take what she wanted as collateral. I have NO problem helping her out if she ASKS. But don't assume you can just take as you please. Am I the only one here? I don't think i'm being unreasonable.

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DJsMommy610

Asked by DJsMommy610 at 4:36 PM on May. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,935 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Not unreasonable. I would have taken back the key also.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 4:38 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • well...if a friend or family member said they would pick up something i needed because they'd be at the store anyway, BUT....didn't go & said they fell asleep....i think i would be upset too. I don't think sleep is a good excuse to leave someone hanging & it just sounds....well...kind of rude. So, you were asleep that long that you couldn't go to the store at all? If it were my SO's aunt...i would have been running to the store to help her out. Even if she annoyed me....but that is just me. I have respect for the elders in our family & help them when i can...if i can.

    That being said, i don't think it's OK for her to take advantage of you helping her out. I think what you said to her will let her know that you & your car are not available for her needs whenever she wants it.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:43 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • It was after 9pm. I really DID fall asleep so i'm not making excuses.
    I most certainly would have not left her hanging on purpose, but i can't exactly call her in my sleep.
    She's only 53, she's not elderly.
    DJsMommy610

    Comment by DJsMommy610 (original poster) at 4:48 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • I think you've been nice considering. I can't imagine going into someone's house, relative or not, and taking things without asking much less borrowing their car for 10 minutes and being gone for an hour. As for not getting to the store, you fell asleep. It was nothing you did on purpose to upset her. She sounds like she depends on you a little too much.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 4:50 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • I'm sorry, i meant 56.
    DJsMommy610

    Comment by DJsMommy610 (original poster) at 4:50 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • you should explain things this way...that she is not on your insurance and if anything happens to the car while she is behind the wheel you are responsible and your insurance may or may not cover damages, it would all be on you
    alotleft2do

    Answer by alotleft2do at 5:51 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • Hmm, i never even thought of that. Thanks for the tip!
    DJsMommy610

    Comment by DJsMommy610 (original poster) at 6:09 PM on May. 20, 2011

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