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I am sooo ready to just throw in the towel!

My kids are driving me nuts! I cant stand to be around them sometimes and it sucks! Every day I have to fight them to eat lunch breakfast and dinner, everyday its hitting each other and not listening to me. I dread starting a new day. I try to do fun things, teach them stuff, make their favorites, but its the same every day no matter what. The last time I was alone without kids 7 months ago when I had surgery and that was only 2hrs until I was back to the same old thing. My df works out of state for months, i have 3 kids under 3, and the only relative I have in the area has her hands full with her two soon to be 3 kids! I hate missing these years because I'm always fighting with them instead of enjoying them:((((

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SabrenaLeigh

Asked by SabrenaLeigh at 5:55 PM on May. 20, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 22 (14,998 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Well, I would like to tell you it gets better, but mine are 17, 13, and 7, and they are at each other all the time. And summer is here...
    There are bright moments though. They fight with each other, but are the first to stand up against anyone else that might be mean to one of them. They will also mature and will find their own interests, so they won't be with each other all the time. Finally, they will reach an age where you can shut and lock the bathroom door, cut the music up, and take a long hot bath while they "battle it out". One of these days, believe it or not, the house will be quiet, the toys no longer strewn about, and you will find yourself wishing for "just one more Fight" to stop. Don't give up, it will get better. Good Luck!
    busymom340

    Answer by busymom340 at 6:04 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • thank you busymom340, i just feel soo horrible for not enjoying it as much as I could.
    SabrenaLeigh

    Comment by SabrenaLeigh (original poster) at 6:07 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • can you hire a sitter for a few hours each week for some you time?
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 6:10 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • no, my son is Bfed and because my kids have never ever had a sitter it wouldnt like it. I'm trying to get one to go to the store with me while I do my grocery shopping to watch the kids until they get used to it and then leave them at home but I cant find anyone:[
    SabrenaLeigh

    Comment by SabrenaLeigh (original poster) at 6:13 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • Don't feel terrible. It is normal to be pulling your hair out. And finding someone to watch them even for an hour or two, is a good idea.
    All moms need some quiet time.
    busymom340

    Answer by busymom340 at 6:13 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • Try to figure out what each one likes to do, most likely it's different things, let them each do that, beat on pots and pans with wooden spoons, stack blocks, puzzles, legos, lincoln logs, Disney movies, quality cartoons, sing-a-longs are lots of fun for everyone! And you just supervise, while they are entertained. At that age it's hard to keep them all on the same task. As far as eating, my advice is don't stress yourself so much, don't expect them to eat just because you think they should, simplify, crackers, cheese and some apple or grapes are just as good as chicken, potatoes and green beans, imo, anyway... :o) My best to you hon, I know you have your hands full. Most churches have mother's morning out programs, you could alternate, if you couldn't leave all 3, just a thought, or maybe you have some friends you could do babysitting exchanges with? (My kids are grown, I probably sound like an old fuddy duddy, lol.)
    agentwanda

    Answer by agentwanda at 6:30 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • And stop beating yourself up, my dear, I am sure you are a great mom!
    agentwanda

    Answer by agentwanda at 6:32 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • I feel you... what i'm going to tell you won't make it better but the best advice i have gotten is no matter what happens now you will always have the memories... it's hell right now but at least you care enough to stay and try to make it the best you can and they will remember that part... that's really all that counts... we survive another day and eventually they will tell you "hey mom remember......... that was awesome"... i'm surviving only of 2 kids both under 5 and let me tell you meals... if they eat... are hell... my 3 y/o who is potty trained decided to we the bed every night all of a sudden... but that's why kids are cute.... it's the only reason they survive to raise their own little turkey's then we get to sit back and laugh...
    watersgirls

    Answer by watersgirls at 1:21 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • I'm sorry you are feeling so stressed. Maybe there are some things you don't HAVE to fight about? Maybe give some thought to what you truly have to be responsible for & what they should be responsible for (I don't mean "chores" or "responsibilities," lol, just things like their senses, their feelings & reactions, and their needs.) If you really get the idea that different people can have different opinions & it's not inherently some problem, many things can go better (or just BE different than you thought/assumed.) The same with "you can have your feelings." It can change the way it FEELS to be around a child's "big feelings." I guess that's a weird thing to say, but I know that sometimes I perceive conflicts that aren't really there. But I only find OUT that they "aren't really there" if I am somehow open to noticing things differently, lol, so of course they WOULD most certainly "be there" (and unquestioned) otherwise. Hugs!
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 3:01 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • (cont) One simple example is my 2-year-old son telling me "No!" It felt like a conflict or an "issue," not something unexpected at all (lol) but like defiance, & often when I was being kind & reasonable, or simply just sharing my experience (that I don't like something, or that something hurts me, or that I'm feeling something--nothing related to punishment or being mad at him, etc.) And his response would be "No." Because I am in the habit of reflecting back what they say, I said, "L doesn't think so." He said, "That right, mama! L don't FINK so!" He moved on to using that term ("I don't think so") a fair bit of the time instead of just "No!" & when it IS about a strong No feeling, I can explore (Did you wish it hadn't hurt me? or If mama is sad does it feel a little scary?) the reasons behind his insistence. But it's not just me: yes him: no & a conflict. The same when I have given him info about what I want, like if he's
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 3:11 AM on May. 21, 2011

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