Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Has your DH/SO ever reacted poorly to hearing you were unexpectedly pregnant?

When we found out we were having our second, mine looked like I hit him in the stomach. We were doing okay financially, our first was almost three, and we planned on trying within the following year or so. I was really hurt by his reaction.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on May. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • Men are stupid. Sometimes they don't realize how dumb they are. Don't be hurt, be happy and tell him to grow up!
    kaylan010

    Answer by kaylan010 at 11:29 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • Never... my husband actually lives to be a "daddy" and is active in our kids lives... all boys!
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 11:31 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • Oh, we have our third already now, but one of my girlfriends just found out she was pregnant and got a terrible reaction from her fiance, so it made me think of it. It is an awful feeling. Just her telling me her story made me feel that hurt all over again.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:32 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • When I told DH about our first, he was pretty stunned. We had even been trying for a year. With our other 2 he was happy, even more so than I was with our third. Maybe he was shocked. I would give him a little bit of time to get used to the idea, unless it happened awhile ago and he's still being an ass. How long ago did you tell him?
    lovepotato

    Answer by lovepotato at 11:43 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • My hubby respond poorly to our 2nd and 4th baby ( we lost our third a week after finding out I was pregnant) with my second I left the test sit on the counter, he threw the test away and didn't talk to me for about 2 hours. With our 4th (due in sept) he reacted fine when I told him, but a few days later accused me of purposly getting pregnant. Of course he loves his little girls and after about a week when the shock wore off he loved/loves on my tummy and began picking out names.
    amber1330

    Answer by amber1330 at 11:45 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • so, I did have a really horrible story :( Probably the worse you have heard yet.
    We had been living together a year, we were not engaged or anything yet. Obviously we were not anywhere near planning a pregnancy. I kept the test so I could show him, just in case. I said "I took a test today and it was positive" he didn't belive me, so I showed him. He freaked out and was actually angry at me. We went to bed and the next day he told me he thought I should get an abortion. I said it wasn't going to happen and I didn't think I would ever be able to do that. He actually didn't speak to me for 2 weeks! Until finally I broke down bawling about it and he finally had some sympathy.
    Now, that was horrible, but we have been together 8 1/2 years now, have 2 children and are talking about having a third. We did go to counseling though at one point to help get past things like that :)
    CJM_SHM

    Answer by CJM_SHM at 11:47 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • My then boyfriend and I had been dating less than three months when I came up pregnant. He looked like he'd been hit in the back of the head with a 2x4. I thought for sure he was going to run.....but that baby is now 7.5 and we've been married for 7 years and have a 4 year old to boot.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:47 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • Well, reading your second response, I would ask if he's still acting like that? If not, I would try to focus on how he is with your second now. I know its hard and it brings up bad memories, but he can't change how he used to be.
    And about your friend, be there for her and hope her fiance comes around.
    lovepotato

    Answer by lovepotato at 11:50 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • Actually, CJM_SHM, that is almost exactly the same thing my friend had happen to her today. It is so awful that men just throw that out there like a "solution to a problem". She is so hurt, and I can't imagine. Even if she shapes up, how will she ever be able to believe that he is a happy proud daddy after that!!!! I feel just awful for her. They have been together 2 years and are supposed to be getting married the third week of June, so it isn't like anyone would have to know it was before their wedding. Now she is questioning everything, and I don't know what to do for her!

    The child my husband threw a fit over is almost 6 now, so mine was years ago, and he got over it quickly. He basically asked me if I "planned it" like I was out to sabotage him, didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to tell anyone until 12 weeks (even though we had told everyone right away with our first), and was pissy in general for about a week.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:56 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • No, we are fine. It didn't last long, I just remembered how bad it hurt my feelings and I feel so awful for my friend. I wondered how common it was, I guess.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:57 PM on May. 20, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.