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3 Bumps

How do I deal with a pushy MIL?

My husband is an only child and we just found out this week that we're expecting our first. My MIL has already started asking me about cribs, etc. We haven't even been to the doctor yet! She has been pushy from the get-go (the wedding planning and all). What are your suggestions for a way for me to politely tell her to butt out? I don't want to cause problems for my hunny to have to deal with, but I need his mom to back off.

 
mrsjon

Asked by mrsjon at 11:51 PM on May. 20, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 15 (1,964 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • YOU don't. Your DH needs to deal with his Mom.


     If she asks you directly about buying things for the baby. Just tell her we are not buying things tell after the first trimester or later in the pregnancy.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:34 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • She's just excited about being a grandma for the first time.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:57 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • Discuss this with him first.  Be completely honest and thorough in telling him how you feel and how it effects you.  Then plan how to approach the situation together.  He may be fine with you asking her to back off, or even offer to do it himself.  At the very least he'll have suggestions on the most tactful way to go about it since he knows her best.  And taking matters into your own hand without discussing it with him carries too high of a risk; both with her and with him.

    BryzniFaye

    Answer by BryzniFaye at 11:58 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • I had to stand up to mine... She is so used to people fearing her, that she expecting me to! Well, I don't! I stood toe to toe with her and told her EXACTLY what I thought... She's respected me since!
    CeeCee333

    Answer by CeeCee333 at 11:54 PM on May. 20, 2011

  • I realize that she's going to be a grandmother for the first time, but so is my mother. She was shocked that my MIL was already on my back about baby stuff. I refuse to let her use that as an excuse.

    That's a great idea about talking with my husband. I didn't think of it. I was complaining to him earlier about it, and all he said was, "I can't control my parents." REALLY?! I can't control my mouthy little sister, but he still expects me to. I'll try to talk with him again. Maybe he'll be willing to help. He's gone to bat for me before.

    My in-laws are very nosy and very pushy. They think that their way is the only way. I was raised in a totally different style, and I am the one better suited to deal with life. I'm so glad they live several hours away!!
    mrsjon

    Comment by mrsjon (original poster) at 12:03 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • my MIL is a lil pushy and my hubby is also an only child; we just ignore her sometimes, but mostly she and I are like sisters.
    MamaReyn21

    Answer by MamaReyn21 at 12:52 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • miasmommy21407

    Answer by miasmommy21407 at 2:03 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • For the baby stuff, say " I want to look around, and decide on a theme before I get anything, but wont decide untill later on. I might start a registry for a baby shower"
    That way, she can A) get you what you want, but not till you let her know what it may be.
    Although, I dont consider her asking about a crib, being pushy. A bit early, but not pushy.
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 1:42 PM on May. 21, 2011

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