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I need ideas on how to deciplin my 3 year old

i want a well behaved child but i do not want her to be afraid of me. any ideas are helpful! thanks!

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iluvmygirls2011

Asked by iluvmygirls2011 at 12:41 AM on May. 21, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Set house rules, Not too many but 5 or 6. Then review them with the childern.. I am very against spanking. I prefer to use time out.
    I like super nanny, she has some books out. I would get one and follow that. She has a lot of good advice.
    briansmom123

    Answer by briansmom123 at 1:25 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Set rules and limits, reward/praise good behaviors, be consistent. In my house I have a 3 strikes system-- 1st offense is a warning, 2nd is warning with a small lecture and 3rd is the consequence. My 5 yr old gets time outs, my 12 and 14 yr old are 'grounded' from computer/video game for the rest of the day.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 2:33 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • We used to take away the most important thing that they loved for an appropriate length of time. Each child has that one thing or activitiy that they absolutely love. They got one warning that we would do it and then we did. Be consistent and follow through
    whitepeppers

    Answer by whitepeppers at 3:45 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • I would suggest looking into connection-oriented parenting, or "connection parenting." "Parenting through connection," not control. Or "parenting by connection." (I simply think of it as being connection-oriented, but I'm thinking of things you can google if you're interested, lol.)

    If you don't rely on fear to prompt cooperation/compliance (that "fear" is as simple as fear of consequences; it doesn't have to be abject terror of the parent, but simply "behaving" out of fear), then "The level of cooperation parents get from their children is usually equal to the level of connection children feel with their parents."(Pam Leo) The claim in this quote has been true in my experience. At this point in my journey, I don't feel lots of struggle in parenting & my children seem cooperative to me (onlookers often think they are "obedient" or "good.") But the degree reflects the quality of our connection, which is a work in progress.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 7:49 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Patty Wipfler's articles at her "hand in hand parenting" website offer a lot of parenting info organized by topic. (Patty Wipfler heads a non-profit organization devoted to supporting parents, and she describes, coaches, & promotes a non-punitive approach to parenting that she calls "Parenting by Connection.")


    There's also an article on connection-oriented parenting called Teaching Through Love Instead of Fear (by Pam Leo) that gives a decent intro or "overview." Patty Wipfler's essays give many more concrete & specific examples of WHAT connection-oriented parenting would look like in the moment during a sibling conflict, or during a conflict of needs with the parent, for example, but this article makes some broad points very well.


    Cheers!
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:39 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Only advice I have is this.. ONLY set as many rules as you yourself can CONSISTANTLY ENFORCE!

    If you can't enforce it then the rule isn't a rule.. Because if you teach your child they can defy you by disobeying your own rules.. they will view it as weakness in you and lack of authority in you!

    Me personally I have 4 rules for my son

    1 Don't be UNKIND OR RUDE!
    2 Always do your best work in all you do (Don't be lazy)
    3 Read your Bible daily
    4 Do your chores daily
    2boys4momma

    Answer by 2boys4momma at 11:44 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Set rules(post them if needed) and stick with them and if she doesn't listen then the discipline starts--start by taking away things she enjoys--i.e TV time; toys; computer time whatever she really likes and doesn't want to lose and let her know that once she is willing to listen to you she will get these things back--this is what we have had to do with our 4 year old and it has worked tremendously! if that doesn't work he gets a spanking(yes we believe in swatting the bottom); my son is 4 and he picks up and puts away his toys, books and other things he gets out. He helps out around the house also.

    Be consistent with whatever you do

    Good luck and God Bless
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 5:52 PM on May. 21, 2011

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