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4 Bumps

I give up...( very TMI, sorry) bedroom problems. adult content

My "DH" and I have not had sex in nearly 3 months. He's never been one to care too much about sex I guess you could say. If we have it we have it, if we don't it's just not a big deal to him.

We've been in marriage therepy since January for a completely different issue, but at our last session, our therepist suggested ways to get the "spark" back or whatever. We each have to do little things we either don't normally do or just have not done in a while. It didn't have to be sexual per se, but just going an extra mile or something. So, today was my day off and I literally spent the entire day doing what all wives/moms do on their days off...I cleaned the house from top to bottom and so on. I made a nice dinner, took a shower, did my hair, got out of my pajamas and put on my sex perfume.

The evening was nice. One of the best we've had in quite a while. I sent him signals that could stop an airplane, and he was sending them back. I gave him a nice massage, let him pick our evening movie and we even took a shower together. We started kissing, and making out like we use to do oh so many years ago. I doated all over him..telling him how much I love his body, how much he turns me on etc. He got an erection and I took advantage of it, something I truely love to do. After I was done doing what I thought was a sufficant job, I continued touching his body and rubbing him...and he started dozing off. Seriously, not 5 minutes after I stopped touching him he was sound asleep. I rolled over and decided what the hell, I'll just take care of myself which woke him up and he started grabbing my boob and actually fell asleep while grabbing me.

No he's not having an affair. He doesn't have a stressful job, he doesn't have a physically demanding job. He's 30, in great health etc.

Reall ladies I don't know what else to do. If I don't try anything I don't get anything and even when I do try I don't get anything. I could wake him up right now and ask him to do me and he would say "ok" and be asleep again within a minute. I'm at a loss here, and it's no so much that I am looking for responses as I just really needed to vent.

Thanks for listening,

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:24 AM on May. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • *hugs* He might have a medical issue that you and he aren't aware of? A vitamin deficiency or something that makes him a little sleepy unexpectedly. A lot of guys do fall asleep straight away after sex, that's normal and natural. But falling asleep while aroused seems odd to me. :/

    Answer by judimary at 2:28 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Pray he not cheating or he need medical attention because a guys does that he doesn't care or he got some from someone else... but stay postive tell he to check his self. Don't give up praying. I hope u guys works things out god bless u aand him...

    Answer by avonbuyorsell at 2:48 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • I understand..not your exact situation or exactly how you feel but the frustration and feeling alone. Im going thru that with my husband right now cuz he works so much. He falls asleep while im messin with him...its upsetting. I feel like if i were a different woman with a better body maybe he wouldnt do that. What man really falls asleep when he is 'really' turned on? Im with ya sista...good luck hunny. It actually sounds like something medically. I would go to the doc just to be sure. Good luck...i feel for you sweetheart

    Answer by Mommy103110 at 2:51 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Sweetie, it doesn't sound like the problem is with you, it sounds like he has a medical problem. Has he had a check-up lately? If not, make his appointment, and go with him to tell his Dr. what's going on, possibly he can shed some light on the subject.

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 2:52 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • IF HE IS NOT "TRYING"......


    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 3:30 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • I would suggest more snuggles and less emphasis on sex. Save it for the weekend maybe? If you are snuggling then it's okay for either or both of you to fall asleep. wake him up on a week end morning and try to kindle the spark then, then he can't be sleepy.

    Answer by Audrice1985 at 3:39 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • LOL why do people always run to cheating??

    Answer by Helen2004 at 5:19 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Sounds like a testosterone issue to me. That's about the age it drops but it seems to have dropped too much. Have him go to a hormone doctor who will check it, if it is low they can give him testosterone injections and he will be better then ever!

    Answer by JLS2388 at 6:52 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • How is with you overall in the relationship. Do you get along with you SO? If sex is the only problem it might be something called "there is no more physical attraction". I know you must feel your SO is everything for you and we women "love" that way but men are different. Talking about men you know him better than anyone. Just think about the moments when you first started dating he was all over you. So you must find a way to revive those moments. Stop going to a therapist that is a big turn off for men. You have humiliated him in front of an stranger. He is only 30.

    Answer by MMXI at 7:06 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • I'm thinking possible medical issues as well

    Answer by tspillane at 7:58 AM on May. 21, 2011

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