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14 Bumps

What have I always done wrong confused depressed and want to die after this

Have you ever grown up where ur dad beat u. Yet get married thought u married the right guy yrs down the way he just hits u. Tells me it's my fault I got beat and y I'm gearing it again I can't go to my grandma my mom lives there I'm n so much schock I hit him back but I'm beyond broken n my heart I can't trust another guy , we been married almost 8yrs

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:20 AM on May. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • You need counseling. You obviously don't understand what a real relationship is, and you're depressed. Real, meaningful relationships are not harmful. The ones you have currently are. These people that you have in your life are not beneficial AND you probably need anti-depressants.

    What probably happened is that you didn't seek counseling growing up or before you got married to work on yourself and unfortunately you fell into a trap that gave you the only kind of relationship you knew... An abusive one.

    You can make it through anything. Anyone can. You just have to find motivation. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Someone once told me something that completely explained my past me - the evil you know is [sometimes] easier than the evil you don't. it's easy to fall into the same relationship over and over. Let me assure you that the first step is the hardest, but each step in the right direction after that get easier. go to a doctor, someone you trust. they can recommend a counselor and help you get started. There are many people that have been in your shoes & they can help you.


    Answer by shareleann at 5:36 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • What I said is completely factual. Women who have abusive fathers or non-existent father figures tend to go after men that are abusive. It's a proven fact. Just because I didn't sugar coat my words doesn't mean there is no proof backing it or that I am incorrect.

    People who DON'T see counseling for abuse and trauma unfortunately carry the same patterns, habits, and relationships throughout the rest of their lives.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:48 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Why can't you go where your mom is?

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 6:30 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Honey don't ever let someone treat you less than wonderful. You deserve so much more!

    Answer by tspillane at 7:27 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • YOU have done the hardest part. YOU have taken control. YOU have owned this and put it in writing. Now it is time to take the next step.

    This is a pattern of abuse and you are living it.  It did not start with you, but only YOU can stop this.  You are on the right path keep going.  Be strong and proud that you no longer want to live this way.  It will be tough, but you are worth it.  If you have a family Doctor that you like call them and ask for a referral to a counselor.   Get yourself the help you deserve.

    Don't worry about finding another guy until you heal yourself.  Be happy with you before you try to be happy with someone else.  Lots of love and luck


    Answer by sipn_mom at 7:44 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • First . . . Believe that you deserve only the kind of love that is caring, forgiving and makes you feel happy. Then, understand that you can't have that love in this situation. You won't change him. Please find a professional to talk to, an abuse hotline or your doctor . . . They can help you come up with a plan to get away from your abusers and/or find the best way to deal with them. It's all up to you to change the pattern. You don't want your children in the same situation, so you must break the cycle.

    Answer by nepenthe429 at 7:46 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • **** I can't trust another guy , we been married almost 8yrs****
    are you still married, or single now?

    imo=you need to leave the abuser, NOT get into another relationship for at least a year (all four seasons to be WITH yourself)

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:28 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Just gte out of the house, take a long walk or drive...U need time to calm down!
    You did nothing wrong, Some men beat on women to make them selves feel real, important, and most of all to scare and control their other half...Find someone to talk to...and if U don't have any one....U can talk to me...Trust me ... Been there done man is worth ur life and happiness....and there is no reason to die for other people's mistake.
    Think about U and forget about everyone else... God Loves You and There is no Man on the face of this earth that can give you that comfort and Love.
    U can email I can share personal info with you.

    Answer by johnsonbaby03 at 8:59 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • My best friend used to pick guys that hit her all the time. Its not something you plan,& not something you expect, &as i used to tell her NOT something you deserve. No matter what noone deserves to be hit. i know you might love him, &obviously you have put 8yrs into this relationship, but you dont deserve this. here's the thing, dont think he will not do it again, because he will, &do not leave & then go back, just leave. Going back makes them think its ok, & though he may not hit right away he will hit, & when he does itwill be worse than it was the 1st time. even if you dont leave & come back as time goes on it will more than likely advance from a little to a lot, & then even though you think it will never happen he will likely hit the kid/s. There are no reasons for beating your spouse. I hope you do leave him, because you deserve better. I am soo sorry you are going through this and i do hope everything works out.

    Answer by 2breath2live at 9:09 AM on May. 21, 2011

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