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If your child says they no longer want to do dance, soccer, baseball, ect... do you let them make that decision?

 
genagina

Asked by genagina at 5:33 AM on May. 21, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Yes, when they are young they should be doing only things they are really interested in and not overloaded with too many activities, IMO. But once our kids got to jr high we asked them to pick one activity to take part in. They always wanted to do something so it never was a problem.
    whitepeppers

    Answer by whitepeppers at 8:47 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Yes but only AFTER the season ends. I'm not going to let him think it's ok to bail out on his team. If he doesnt want to play next year then he doesnt have to.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 6:06 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • I would make them finish the season, as I am doing now with soccer, but after that -- no. With that being said, my DD, who wanted to play soccer this season - and then didnt want to anymore --IS being MADE to finish the season (because we are not quitters and do not BAIL on our team(s)). SHe now says she is sad today is the last soccer game and wants to know when it starts back????
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 9:07 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Yes. And no I don't wait until the season is over with. He plays on teams with the Y youth sports program and many kids start and it is just not the right time, not tge right sport, or just not the right fit at tge moment. It's fine. My son is also in dance and if he wanted to stop and was not enjoying it - that is the end. It is about his passions and interests to explore. Not mine. He has to deal with tge consequences of leaving. Sure we can discuss tge possible or probable outcome of stoping. If friends get mad or disappointed then he has to work through that. Parents say sometimes you can't quit, they are counting on you. In other words a parent rescues their child from the fall out without actually letting them learn any real lesson. They say it is to teach you don't quit. The reality is sometimes it is wise to walk away. But tgey never do learn if mom or dad decide when to walk or not.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:59 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • yes, i am not going to force my kids to do something they hate. I do have a friend though that has her son in tae kon do (sp) and he said he doesn't want to do it anymore and she basically has told him tough because he wanted to do it he is going to continue forever. I think kids do need to try the stuff to see if they do like it or not.
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 5:36 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Yes, I would let them make that decision. Why would I spend the money on something that they don't want to do? As long as they finish what they started though, eg: the class, the season, the year.
    shareleann

    Answer by shareleann at 5:42 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Yes, absolutely. If they're not interested I don't understand forcing the issue. I think they should all try something once, but if they don't care it don't fight it. Let them develop their own interests.
    Razelda

    Answer by Razelda at 5:45 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Yes.

    I mean, if she liked it and one day after practice said she was never going back, I would explore why and encourage her to take time to reflect and make a calm decision.

    But, yes, I wouldn't make her do something for months/years that she didn't enjoy. I'm no tiger mom. lol.
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 5:58 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • it depends on the age and situation I think, at a young age I would never put the pressure on, you have put this in age 3-4 so i am guessing thats what age the child is, I have a 3.5 year old and i cant imagine telling her she has to do an activity she didnt want to do. As they get older I still wouldnt force it, however if my child had begged me to do a certain activity and she did it once or twice and didnt want to go back, I would encourage her to give it a better go than that......I wouldnt be with all that swapping and changing every month.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 6:08 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • I think that depends on a few things. first why dont they like it anymore? is it a giving up type of thing because of frustration or lack of belief n themselves? If thats the case I would try to help them realize that everyone is good at something and its usually not the same thing as others, which is good cause then we would have a good soccer players and no good artists, etc. Try to help them find their area of strength, and joy. I would not force them to do it, but I think (depending on the situation) that I would have them finish the class/season, etc. so that they learn not to give up even when its hard, and quit when they felt challenged. That is somethink I hage dealt with in my girls and I hope to teache them to push thru the hard/tough/bad times and to learn from it, which makes them stronger. that being said it also depends on how old they are, if they r very young i would let them stop, older nees learn commitment.
    Godhealedme

    Answer by Godhealedme at 6:35 AM on May. 21, 2011