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6 Bumps

What do i do?

my husband shows barely no interest in his first born child with me or my child from a previous relationship. so my husband will come home and not speak to either boys, but will get right on the computer or go to sleep. he holds the baby less then once a day. and when he does hold the baby it's for less then 15 mins. he goes to sleep whenever he wants and never helps with the baby whether he is asleep or not. i have and continue to both thank him for what little he does do to reminding him that i need help. he does nothing in the house but take out the trash(i end up having to even take care of that when its not garbage day). he does work, i don't. im fed up, tried of talking. but just wondering if im missing something? is there more that i should be doing? i need help or our marriage is over before it even began.

 
AnitaB27

Asked by AnitaB27 at 9:03 AM on May. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Level 8 (267 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Have you considered or would he even be willing to go to counseling? There's only so much nonesense a person can take.
    Isityou

    Answer by Isityou at 9:14 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Talk to him love. just sit him down and tell him respectfully how you feel. he can't know unless you say something. Never give up on your marriage. Our Heavenly Father adores marriage. Just talk to him and tell him everything you've told us, then after your done pray that his heart will be softened and he'll treat you right and act like a good husband. Be blessed love for this too shall pass.
    jenkinswife2011

    Answer by jenkinswife2011 at 9:17 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Your DH sounds alot like my DH. The only difference is mine does spend some time with the 3 kids. I get very tired of literally getting NO help with the house or the kids. My DH works very hard and very long hours so I really just try to remind myself that this is my part in the marriage.
    lucyloo1776

    Answer by lucyloo1776 at 12:53 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • he has a reason for ignoring his own child? yea no matter what the reason that isnt ok
    AnitaB27

    Comment by AnitaB27 (original poster) at 9:10 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • i do/have told him. once he just said blah blah blah. the last time was i belive wed and he has yet to respond to that.
    AnitaB27

    Comment by AnitaB27 (original poster) at 9:26 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • It's time you two discussed the expectations you have for one another in the marriage. Sit down and have a nice, calm, non-judgemental conversation in which you lay out what you expect from one another and write it all down so there's no confusion later. Make sure you both agree on what tasks are to be performed by whom, and the time frame in which tasks are to be performed. Then, stick you both your end of the deal, and your guns regarding the things he agreed to. At times, you may have to insist that he holds up his end and you can do that without conflict by staying calm and saying something along the lines of "it is not unreasonable for you to do the things you agreed to" and stand firm. Then praise him afterwards. You're helping him establish habits to help you and interact with the children.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:53 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Give him a list of what your expectation are for involvement with the house and the children. If he doesn't agree or doesn't do them I'd leave. You are miserable why stay in a relationship without love or respect? Get out now
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 10:33 AM on May. 21, 2011

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