Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How can I get my 14 y/o son to communicate better? Just wants to hang out with his friends and play video games...

Answer Question

Asked by soontobestep198 at 10:21 AM on May. 21, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (43 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • Sounds pretty normal for his age. Make sure you're having family dinners and spending quality time together often. Don't take it personally. He's just at an age where he needs his space. The more you force the issue, the more distant he will become.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • If he is not already, get him involved in other activities (ie. sports, music, drama, volunteer, etc)

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:35 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • I don't think a 14-year old should be allowed to hang out with his friends except at home or at the home of some other parent whom you trust to keep a sharp eye out. If he entertains his friends at home, it doesn't matter whether he communicates with you or not because you are able to see for yourself what you need to know about his activities. He is demonstrating by his behavior that he has not yet reached trustworthy status to be out with his buddies with no supervision. So I would just say to him that for now, he can invite his friends over to your house and then you can watch and learn for yourself what he is up to. If he is not up to no good, that should be just fine with him. If his only objective is to be with his friends, then he should be happy to have them come to his house.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:37 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • My son is 14 and I have found that when we take a walk- he talks and tells me what's going on with him.
    *Granted- he has no friends in the neighborhood- si I'm the one who plays cards with him, watches him skate, goes to the pool with him...
    but it's worth a try!

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 11:09 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Sounds like a normal teen. Do you talk when you have dinner? Have you tried playing the games with him? Do something one on one with him and talk to him then.

    Answer by tazdvl at 11:25 AM on May. 21, 2011

  • Maybe plan a day together just for a few hours go out to eat or to a movie. Let him tell you what he would like to do for a few hours this way you can spend some quality time together. Talk about his interest and what he likes to do, and then you can always let him know he can talk to you about anything. Hopefully just sharing some special times together will open up communications.

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 1:17 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • That is normal. I find that the car is a good place to have conversations with my teens. The like the relaxed, no eye contact, vibe. Be casual and non-judgmental with them and they will open up.

    Answer by cleanaturalady at 6:50 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • Your only option is to wait a few years and he will come back around. The teen years can so dang ruough.

    Answer by Peajewel at 7:33 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • Family dinners (every week night if possible), 1 night on the weekend (Friday OR Saturday night) with the family (we always did something.....rented a movie, went to a movie, played board games, etc.) AND Sundays worked well for us. Being that he's 14...for how I raised my sons...they had supervised time with friends, just 1 weekend evening a week (Friday evening OR Saturday evening...whichever one we didn't have plans for). They were really too busy Monday-Friday with school, sports and volunteering for much socializing. Sleepover were only allowed at our house, I trusted MY way of supervising and did not trust other parents idea of supervision. I raised 4 sons who are now 19, 20, 23 and 24 and we have a very close relationship that has never wavered.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • This is so normal. When my boys were that age I insisted on sit down dinners, no t.v., cell phones etc. And occassionally I would take them one on one out for lunch or dinner. When it comes to food, they were always willing to do what I ask, lol Don't worry though, this is very normal.

    Answer by Kathy675 at 2:55 AM on May. 22, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.