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I need an honest answer on how I should approach this..It's a very sticky situation.

I have a long lost sister that I've recently been in contact with. Well we were getting along but my grama who has lung cancer and cancer of the main lymph node is also her grama we have the same dad. Basically because of my grama and our dad she has been estranged from the family. Well my grama said she was causing drama and bringing up questions about the past w her mom and our dad and she wanted answers before she died. Well I wanted to go about this in a nice way so I asked my sister my whole sister about how to talk to her about this. Well I accidentally sent a text to her saying grama said x person is causing drama and asking alot of questions about our dad and grama has already told her all she knows. Well now she's mad at me I wasn't meaning any harm I just wanted to see if my other sister could help me go about telling her in a nice way. there was no hurt intended towards her at all. Well we found out my grama was lying about everything now my sister wants nothing to do w me or our other sisters or our dying grama. I have no idea how to fix this or even if it can be fixed my sister is the type of person whom you don't know how to treat her if your nice to her sometimes she gets mean and if your honest she gets all wound up. well isn't that what she wants honesty? then why when my grama tells her the truth she gets all bent out of shape about it? Do you think she should just be mad at my grama or she should just let this go because our grama is dying? She constantly brings up the past w me and it makes me all upset because my past w our dad wasn't good. I guess i'm asking also if this is a relationship even worth continuig

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on May. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • The most common place for lung cancer to metastasize is to the brain. Your grandmother may have no idea what she's talking about. If your sister can't understand that, I wouldn't be too upset about it. You've lived without her that long...
    CeeCee333

    Answer by CeeCee333 at 12:16 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • U have to do what I did with my family and let her know u want to have a relationship with her but u have to agree that u both will not talk about the past. And in all honesty, my family couldn't do that so we no longer speak.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 12:16 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • If you've already apologized to her, then there's really nothing else you can do. Its her loss, and she will regret it.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 12:17 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • Let her go, there is a whole life time of anger there and maybe she does not believe what she is being told its hard when you have no idea what the truth is. Let her settle in and resolve things for herself and maybe talk to her later. Just extend the olive branch if she takes it okay if not all you can do is leave the door open.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:20 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • Also you do not know what her mom has been filling her head with? A couple months with you might not undo the years of her mom telling her something else. This is like she was adopted and now you are trying to tell her what might be the truth but she has to want to hear both sides.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:24 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • You also have to understand where she is comin from put yourself in her shoes...she's been estranged from this half of her family and now wants answer and to know about your lives something she wasnt apart of before...if this relationship with your sister is important to you then make it work...I tried getting in contact with my sister on my dads side and she basically told me to leave her and her family alone...I talk to my dad and my g-ma but not to her....so try and see it from her point of view.
    happymama02

    Answer by happymama02 at 12:25 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • We've tol her all we know about our dad.. We don't know anymore about what happened w her mom and our dad. We've let her in and she stays maybe 5 seconds and then dissappears this has happened numerous times and idk if I want to keep the door open she brings up too much drama and i've told her about my childhood i don't know what she wants anymore w'eve told her all we know
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:31 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • I would love to know why I was voted down... Because I said that the grandmother may not know what she's talking about? Because I said to forget about the sister? Because I said lung cancer metastasizes to the brain? The question was for an honest answer... I gave one, and was voted down... Awesome. LOL
    CeeCee333

    Answer by CeeCee333 at 12:39 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • I didn't vote you down ceecee idk who did sorry:(
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:43 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • It's okay. I just can't figure out what I said to deserve a down vote... I'm not upset or anything, just confused. LOL
    CeeCee333

    Answer by CeeCee333 at 12:48 PM on May. 21, 2011

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