Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do you do when Your child will not listen to you at all and just throws a tantrum???

It has seem like my son will not listen, whether I say it nicely or raise my voice. I mean everything I say. When I ask him to clean his room or something or just to pick something up. I'm sure its just a phase but I was just wondering? He throws stuff and makes this grunt noise...He will be 4 next month. Any Advice..


Answer Question

Asked by mamaevans2 at 3:52 PM on May. 21, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 8 (223 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • What do I do? I spank his butt, but not everyone disciplines their child the way I do. I don't ask nicely. I'm the boss the end. There will be no throwing in my house. The end. I'll spank and take every toy away from him.

    Answer by onemellowmom at 3:55 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • He's too young to be expected to clean his room, and expecting him to do more than of which he is capable can be very frustrating for him. The more likely problem is that he wants to tell you what to do other than the other way around, and that's not something which he will just outgrow. You have to train him to obey you and to respect your instructions. I spanked mine for 2 things: Disobedience and disrespect. And it worked beautifully. The thing is you better get busy training him in these areas now, because the stakes get higher as the child gets older, so the sooner you start teaching him that you are the person who is in authority, the better off you will be and also the more peaceable will be your home.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:56 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • @ NannyB.: My daughter turned 4 in March and has been cleaning her room fora about a year now. She needs step-by-step do this, now do that, now do the other instructions, but SHE does it on her own.

    @ Original poster: If he throws a tantrum, he goes to his room. If he throws a tantrum in the store, y'all leave immediately. If he won't stay close to you in the store, he gets his butt parked in the shopping cart. If he won't stay in the cart he gets buckled in. Be his friend later, right now you're MOM. And, whatever MOM says goes.

    The Mom Song


    Answer by Rosehawk at 4:09 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • start by taking away things he enjoys--i.e TV time; toys; computer time whatever he really likes and doesn't want to lose and let him know that once he is willing to listen to you he will get these things back--this is what we have had to do with our 4 year old and it has worked tremendously! if that doesn't work he gets a spanking(yes we believe in swatting the bottom); my son is 4 and he picks up and puts away his toys, books and other things he gets out. He helps out around the house also. Be consistent with whatever you do and soon enough he will learn that he cannot manipulate you or throw a temper to get his way and then he will learn different ways of getting your attention. Good luck and God Bless

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 4:47 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • my ds gets his butt spanked and made to sit down some where until we know he'll behave. We dont do the 1 min per year thing depends on the offece...if he's throwing a tantrum it might take him longer to calm down than 3 mins....if he hits or runs into the road he'll be sitting down for at least half an hr because he knows better. my ds knows that the only reason why he gets spanked is if its something he already knows and doesnt do when asked or has been asked several times to do something and makes a big deal about it.

    Answer by dreamangel06 at 5:17 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • Thanks everyone...Yeah I do not tell my son go clean your room...Ill say put the books on your shelf, and put your toys in the blue toy box, stuff like that and I do try to help them...if him or my daughter wants ice cream and something needs done or whatever I tell them to do that first...It was just the past couple days he has really been tryin me, so thats why I asked the question..I have tried the time out, where he will sit down and I do spank him too when he is doing something very bad... I just get frustrated sometimes....UGH!!! but overall my kids are good kids and respectful they can get out of hand though.

    Comment by mamaevans2 (original poster) at 7:02 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • I send my daughter to her room (where she usually gets herself into MORE trouble) but my daughter doesn't EVER listen. No matter what. Just take a deep breath because right now they are trying to win a little independence. What I've been doing lately (since I'm 34 weeks prego and on bed rest) is to find creative outlets for my 3 yo daughter. thinks she likes, painting, playdough, coloring. She tends to listen to me more when I keep her busy. (she also sleeps better at night) and throws less tantrums and the ones she still throws are less intense. I think sometimes boredom begins to make them more irritable.

    Answer by Wonderland12777 at 10:13 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • I tried spanking my 4 yr old son but it seems to hurt me more than it does him..I am doing the take things away and time out,we shall see but yes consistancy seems to be followed ALWAYS!

    Answer by Dollhouse2011 at 12:24 AM on May. 24, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.