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What now?? Where do I go from here?

My DH graduated with his Bachelor's in December. We've been applying for jobs all over the country since October and were only able to find this dead-end job in a call center making barely over min. wage. He is a good man and is really good to me and our two little ones, but I am so frustrated and disappointed in him. Since January or before I have been the only one researching jobs and applying. He isn't doing anything except looking into joining the military. Really? Like somehow having him gone all the time and in harm's way is going to make things better.! He is not interested in going back to school for his Master's, but that's pretty much our only option at this point.

I am going to school online to finish my bachelor's and I'm about to start a very rigorous semester of 18 credits. I really need him to take over the job applying and he said he's sorry that he's such a disappointment. He told me that he loves me and he's just so sorry that he's been lazy and he'll try to do better. My fears are that he might do better than he's been doing, but it won't be enough. I realize the economy is really bad right now and it won't matter who is applying for jobs if the calls aren't coming.

To top it all off two close friends just got jobs within 2 weeks of graduation and are already working at top companies making at least 3 times what DH brings home. I'm just so frustrated with him and annoyed that nothing has been working out for us. Not a question I guess, just a rant and a vent.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on May. 21, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Well, right now his best option may be to join the military. go in as an officer. He could also go to college, PAID for, for something else, of course. Get a degree in something else, also of course. Who knows, he may LOVE it. You may not hate it as much as you think. Some branches go to different duty stations then others. Ya'll could go to Germany, Italy, Hawaii, Alaska. Depending on his job, some go to Belgium, or used to anyway.
    Personally, I think that option should be considered, not taken off the table. ESPECIALLY with the country's crappy economy.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:26 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • Id have him join. With a degree he would go in as an officer with higher pay. Whatever his degree was in theyll place him accordingly. He would probably end up with a desk job.

    Answer by gemgem at 4:37 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • I agree with the PP.. because she makes total sense.. :)

    Answer by Dannille33 at 4:38 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • wow

    Answer by meooma at 4:40 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • Maybe the military is his only choice right now.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:51 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • Well, first off, not ALL of the military is in harms way ALL of the time. Not ALL of them deploy to the 'dangerous' regions. I guess being an Army wife for over 15 years, I'm used to it. Being an Army brat, it's just my life. But, to answer your question, where do you go from here? You be a supportive wife if he chooses to join. And you go where he is stationed, that's where you go. However, not all women are cut out to be military spouses, you may not be. It's not for everyone.
    And second, are the places his friends got jobs at hiring? Why did they get jobs and your hubby did not? Sounds as though he is not assertive, and you can't really force him to be. He has to make that change. Or not. The military does 'encourage' some to grow up. IDK his age, they have raised the entrance age though.
    In the end, I suppose I'd give him an ultimatum. Though you may not get the response you are looking for.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 4:53 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • OP Here. DH is 26 and is not as assertive as he should be. It's true. We have gone over his other options and he is not excited about anything. It's hard to gauge where he is on things because he isn't motivated by very many things.

    Frankly, DH chose the wrong major. He did geography and loved it, but he didn't get an advanced degree, so work in his field is almost out of the question right now. He also didn't get the GIS certificate which would have given him more technical experience and opened up more job possibilities. He doesn't have much specific work experience, just a lot of short-term odd jobs. It's just a bad situation made worse by our country's crappy economy.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:58 PM on May. 21, 2011