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3 Bumps

Why does it seem that everybody else has it easy and i have it really hard in life

i work my ass off for every little thing that i get and can barley afford the basics but theres people in my life who do nothing and get it all i know a girl who does nothing like literally nothing her kids always go without and she spends her welfare on hair and nails and she refuses to work but yet she goes on trips every month is constantly partying always has designer everything and i must admit yes im a bit jealous like i have had it hard and i mean who hasnt but i work my ass off only to stay above water while she sits on her ass and collects rewards i burn with anger everytime i see her even on fb and she constantly brags about this stuff like oh im going here and there and just bought the new this and that its just NOT FAIR sorry i really needed to vent!!!! i am literally crying at this moment all this is really making me a bitter person i have another friend in my life who also does nothing and all of a sudden shes screwing this guy and now she's borderline rich driving new cars and going to hawaii i mean i should be happy for them right??? then why do i feel resentful!!!! my other friend never works and quits almost every job she gets and sits and collects welfare but i guess one day she decided she wanted a job so she waltz in to this building and boom she has a job paying 21/hr with no qualifications(she just got her ged) and i am totally serious...meanwhile im going to college and working minimum wage dh is working temp jobs just so we can BARLEY pay the bills. and i feel like they rub it in my face they invite me to places they know i cant afford or on fb tag me in theyre pics of them on trips and meeting celebs at some awesome party it just makes me soooo damn mad! i am in the most tears as i am typing this im sooo sorry......


Asked by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on May. 21, 2011 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Just remember you may not see the whole picture. Maybe they have really high debt to have those things. Maybe the designer stuff is knock off. I know it's hard but remember someone else is thinking the same thing about you and wishing they had what you have.

    Answer by tspillane at 7:23 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • Best thing to do is stop trying to compare yourself and your financial life with others. If anything, they should be Jealous of you that you are making it with your hard work and drive. Also, material things get old and worthless. Are your child/children happy? As long as your children have what they need and want, that should be everything. Worrying about what others have will just keep you from giving yourself credit and appreciating what you have. If these friends get you to the point that you are right now, then maybe you should keep your distance. I know we all want the finer things in life but they aren't the important things.

    Answer by BrandyBaby22 at 10:54 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • boy do I know what you mean! and my cousin who grew up the same class as me married a DR and has never worked in 17 yrs and I really should have gone her route and I could be living on some beach and driving an awesome car living in a huge house. but no I had to marry a guy who made crap for money and where I live I am 30 miles from the next town and the places that are hiring are no more then $7 an hour ..... my dh's bff has no job and his wife makes 8 bucks an hour and they seem to afford everything even a $500 a month car payment and they both smoke and have 3 kids. I do not know what goes on with others but it is hard to live and struggle and see others have it easy or even wonder how they could have it so easy

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 11:00 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • Could you be that person who spends all your money on yourself while your kids go without? Could you face your kids each morning? Would you trade your hard working, loving husband for a nice car from some guy you're screwing (who might dump you at any time)? Don't feel jealous of them. I wouldn't trade lives with them for anything!

    I know how hard it is to keep working and pushing forward when you are so burnt out that you can barely raise your hand. If you ever want life to get better, don't loose focus on your goals. And honestly, it might be time to find new friends - take a moment to decide if these ladies are bringing any good into your life or are you just a different person than them. Just get some rest tonight, and I hope you feel better about things in the morning.

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 11:13 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • I can so relate. While the kids were growing so many of my friends APPEARED to have it so much better.. Watch your thoughts. Instead of letting this injustice occupy your mind, focus on what you do have. We struggled beyond belief and our kids ( now adults) and they are the most loving, caring and great people I have met. Sometimes having less is so much more. Fixate on love, family and things which are not material things. Look up "Two Wolves" A Cherokee Parable. It is one of my most cherished reflections whiched helped me keep a good perspective through the years... Chin up. Fake it until you feel it. When you feel overburdened, psych yourself into serenity, peace and the good things of life. They are all free. Keep your humor strong through it all. it will be one of your greatest assets. I send you a huge hug and smile..

    Answer by LeJane at 11:49 PM on May. 21, 2011

  • The gift of life is the greatest thing you can have and you've already got it. I too was not the one to pick up the tab, go on vacatons and afford the best if anything. You will look back and cherish some of the things you would never expect to. I could not afford nice cars, so when the kids got their license, we had some of the worst beaters. We all laugh at it now. When we can't change things, we have to ACCEPT them. Don't try to fight what you don't have, just hold tight to what you do. I have friends who have lost children, keep your thoughts grateful for the love and people in your life. In the end THAT is what matters, not trips, money, and material things. I know this may sound wierd, but pray for those whom you have resentments for. It will help to free you from the stronghold their lives are occupying in your mind. Change your thoughts, change your life. Add me as friend :-)

    Answer by LeJane at 11:30 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • dear, happiness doesn't measure up of HOW u make & WHAT u do. Stop comparing Ur life's w/ Ur friends. U will never b happy.Instead u ended up being better.COUNT Ur blessings.& BE PROUD that u r working hard 2 make end meet,4 u & Ur family.Ur circles of friends looks like in serious messes.U should b PROUD of URSELF,& b GRATEFUL for all U HAVE..............jealousy,comparing yourself 2 them would just make Ur life,BE PROUD, & B HAPPY FOR THEM instead.Work more harder & b inspired,then someday you'll b able 2 get things U WANTED & NEEDED=) good luck!

    Answer by inahan at 12:55 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I think she may be rich in stuff, but you are rich in dignity.

    You are being more dignified by working rather than mooching the system, or rather than mooching some fling, you are enriching your mind with an education, and you are keeping your family together.

    and there is no way that just because they went to Disneyland that she's the better mom. Good moms don't go partying and sleeping with whoever...can imagine what that's doing to her kids? They're going to grow up feeling like it's okay to treat your body like trash. They're going to grow up without that sense of security that comes from having just one guy (their dad) being a stable, good influence on them.

    In a heartbeat, I would pick your life over hers because parties and stuff are temporary, dignity is forever.

    Answer by Dkhilly at 5:40 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Kudos to you going to school and working hard for your kids. In five years these folks will be doing nothing different with themselves. You'll be giving your kids a better life AND you'll show them how persistence and effort DO pay off. As previous posters have said, there is probably lots more to the story that would make even the trips to Hawaii unattractive. I hope you can find peace with the choices you've made with your life--I think you've made the best of them!

    Answer by jmpj8107 at 3:10 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • hugs


    Answer by MommaClark3 at 11:08 PM on May. 21, 2011