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6 Bumps

Advice....please no bashing. adult content

So I have been married for nearly 3 years. My hubby is in the military so he has been away a lot since we have been together......we've never had great sex/relationship. I love him, but I don't know if I love him. With that said...I think I am not in "love" with him because I'm gay. I have stood by him never cheated, just the thoughts of being with a woman versus him....well I mean it drives me wild and turns me on 10000%. I'm torn on what to do.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:03 AM on May. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • whatever floats your boat but thats along time with someone to just give it all up i understand ive been thriugh it but it was a faze and a man is just 100000000000x's better than a woman
    alliep2011

    Answer by alliep2011 at 1:08 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • You need to be honest with him and respectful of the fact that he's going to be upset, but the most important thing is to be true to yourself and your needs and desires. NEVER live your life for someone else!
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 1:19 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • that doesn't seem fair to him. He deserves to be loved the way 2 people w/ romantic love should feel. You yourself deserve that too. Does he know your gay?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • No he has no idea at all :(. I mean its hard on me to even admit that I may or may not be gay. I am struggling within to even get the courage to mention/talk to him about this. My husband doesn't feel that being gay is right so I know if I even start this conversation he would kick me out and I would lose possibly all rights to my little one....and it scares me tremendously.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:24 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • The first thing you need to find out is are you truelly gay, or just bi-curious. Seek counseling on the base. It would be horrible to leave him and learn later that it was a bi-curious faze. If you want your marriage you can work on it to stir up the spice. Just be really sure before you make a leap you might regret.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:28 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • Maybe it's something you need to explore. You need to talk to him and maybe make it something that the two of you can try together. I know several couples where the woman has a GF that is very involved with the family. Be honest with him and tell him it's something that you are interested in.
    shareleann

    Answer by shareleann at 1:32 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • for one thing you never mentioned anything about a kid involved and 2 a kid needs a MOTHER AND FATHER if in that case god would had made it to where women could get other women pregnant i mean come on grow up and don't ruin your kids life just because your going through a faze ! im not trying to sound mean but its true ! you and your husband need more time with each other cause him being gone can somewhat ruin a marriage but you as a woman and a mother need to find ways to make it work what were you thinking when you said your vows i mean does that not mean anything no more ? i hope you make this work good luck and god bless honey
    alliep2011

    Answer by alliep2011 at 1:36 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • go to a therapist and work out your feelings and decide what you really...really want and then be very gentle with you dh about what it is you really want and expect him to be hurt and angry and go from there...I do know this process is hard my brother married his first wife thinking he loved women but felt attracted to men and it was not until his 40's and with counseling he realized the truth about himself and then came out and and it was not as bad as he thought it would be......and with that his wife had realized she actually liked women and went that way.......and their 4 kids turned out pretty well adjusted considering their parents went in other directions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • wow im horrified by some of these responses.
    op if u want to talk in private, message me, i know what u are going through but dont want to put it out there for god and everyone to read.
    gothmama91

    Answer by gothmama91 at 1:48 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • God can hear and see everything you do. Even if you try to hide it. :)
    LARRYSWiiFE

    Answer by LARRYSWiiFE at 2:57 AM on May. 22, 2011

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