My husband is a hoarder in denial. I was very naive when we got married. His logical explanations for why he needed his things were convincing (I was in love and blind).
Now I understand he is in denial. We're in counseling and I have brought up the topic many times. Some baby steps have been taken, but it is not resolved yet. I'm afraid he got rid of a few things just to please me and not because he intends to change because he knows he has a problem.
I just read "The Secret Lives of Hoarders" and now I am scared. It talks about the stages of hoarding and how 65-80% of hoarders relapse after a cleanup. His hoarding is at an early stage so I am hoping if I put my foot down now, maybe I will be able to stay for the duration.
I know I will not be able to tolerate it long term. He either has to change (sincerely, not temporarily) or we will not be together. I have already been dealing with the negative feelings I have about the clutter for 16 years. I cannot live like this forever.
Is anyone experienced with this? Is there any hope? Can he change? What does it take for him to get out of denial?
Asked by Anonymous at 3:45 AM on May. 22, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by tootoobusy at 3:49 AM on May. 22, 2011
Answer by koolbecky at 4:12 AM on May. 22, 2011
I cant even watch the show hoarders it makes me feel the need to clean the entire house!!!! I can't stand messes!!! and stuff piled everywhere. I have a friend who does this her husband threatened to leave her because it's way out of hand!!!! I've gone over there I don't know how many times and clean her house from top to bottom and within a month things are just like it was before I started!!!! so I just stopped I had to because It wasn't fair to me to clean the house and it all went back to the way it was before I did this free of charge and just ended up feeling used and time wasted.
Answer by traren at 7:09 AM on May. 22, 2011
Answer by meooma at 9:27 AM on May. 22, 2011
Answer by Momforhealth at 10:22 AM on May. 22, 2011