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My Oldest Son & His Bad Girl Hate Me

Question: Dear Luise: My oldest son hates me,he says he has been angry for a long time.but i felt close to him untill he met this bad girl and had 2 kids.she wont leave me in a room for 2 minutes alone with my son ,,,he is 29 yrs old and is completely under her spell.she is nice to me as long as i give her all the attention,if i even hug my grandkids shes stomps in to the bathroom and slams doors.i tried everything,my other kids see it too.she is very insecure and hates her mother.we used to be a loving family now she yells out on the phone that she hates me and my grand daughter does too ,,,poor lil girl is 6 years old,how could they talk like that in fron of the children.call me names i can not repeat.only because something doesnt go her way.i also have lyme disease and i am sick most of the time.he says your not my mother your nothing at all your evil.my other daughters cry,because he spreads this stuff online.sincerly mixed up and sad. Question: My oldest son hates me,he says he has been angry for a long time.but i felt close to him untill he met this bad girl and had 2 kids.she wont leave me in a room for 2 minutes alone with my son ,,,he is 29 yrs old and is completely under her spell.she is nice to me as long as i give her all the attention,if i even hug my grandkids shes stomps in to the bathroom and slams doors.i tried everything,my other kids see it too.she is very insecure and hates her mother.we used to be a loving family now she yells out on the phone that she hates me and my grand daughter does too ,,,poor lil girl is 6 years old,how could they talk like that in fron of the children.call me names i can not repeat.only because something doesnt go her way.i also have lyme disease and i am sick most of the time.he says your not my mother your nothing at all your evil.my other daughters cry,because he spreads this stuff online.sincerly mixed up and sad.. R.

Answer: Dear R. First of all let me wish you a very happy forty-seventh birthday. Please come over to my Web-forum: www.wisewomenunite.com. Friends await!

Your son is an adult and he is making his own choices and decisions. Unfortunately, they make sense to him. Your role, as painful as it may be to carry through, is to let go. He picked an insecure woman for a partner. It sounds to me like she is seeing you and treating you as she either sees and treats her own mother or would like to. It also looks like she s passing that poison on to your grand children.

This is your son’s world. You are not part of it except to be someone who is abused and used. Peace of mind probably doesn’t lie there, nor does hope. They have their dynamics and you are just a symbol to be battered for their own purposes.

Peace will come with knowing you can’t do anything about it. Letting go and turning toward the love and understanding your other children offer is where you will thrive. What a blessing that you have them, many don’t. Let their love nurture you and let your memories of your oldest son prior to all of this bring you joy. To pursue trying to change the situation or even understand it will just take you down and you deserve a lot better. Blessings, Luise

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on May. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • Seems to me "Luise" has been smoking some nice fat crack rocks there..."Just sit down and shut up" passes for advice these days? Must be nice to get paid to tell folks to take it up the old chocolate whizway instead of standing up for themselves and not putting up with crap from crazy people.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:24 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • Is there a question in this post that you are wanting answers / advice for?
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:45 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • OMG!!!!!!! I agree with the first answer.. wow
    ashes27165

    Answer by ashes27165 at 12:55 PM on May. 22, 2011

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