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DH is unemployed...

DH is lazy when it comes to work. The only way he gets money is from his GI bill and other ways to hustle money. I thought this was going to change when our son was born, but it didn't. Now he is going to electronic repair training to start his own business, but still isn't working. However, he does do things like buy clothes and necessities for our son. He also helps pay rent, utilities, and things around the house. He also cleans the house real well and takes good care of our son when I'm at work.  I don't know if him not working should be a big issue or not. Its just we have to stretch our money and in the past we were in bad situations, because of things we couldn't pay. My family honestly dislikes him, because of that as well. I'm not saying my family has a right to dislike him, I'm just stating the facts that my family dislikes him, because of us being in bad situations due to not being able to pay certain bills. Were doing good now though. However, it would be nice to have extra money in our pockets instead of having everything go to bills, our son, etc. Will it be a big issue to you ladies? I'm lazy as well when it comes to cleaning and organizing so idk if I should judge

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on May. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • It would be a big issue for me. Frankly one criteria for me to even go on a date with someone was if they had a good paying job that was enough to support themselves. My dd is with someone who also does not work however, she works, and he is a sahd. He is awesome at staying home with the kids. He cooks, cleans, plays with the kids, and does everything a sahm would do. So their relationship is still equal.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:40 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • Yes it would be an issue for me. Its fine to have a skill to have to hustle money when the times get tight but a steady job is the best.

    It pays the bills and if managed correctly can leave a little something on the side for savings or enjoying something we like to do plus having a job shows a person is responsible and sets an example to our children.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:41 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • It would bother me. Unless, of course, we made the decision that I would be the breadwinner, and he would be the SAH. But, other than that . . . :( A job is very important to a man's self-esteem, and I really believe they should be working.

    There are plenty of families that have young kids and a disabled Dad, though. You just need to scrimp, save, and accept, if that is the case.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 10:48 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • it depends on the couple.......my brother and SIL decided because she made more money and had more demands for her time at work and my brother was better a dealing with thier kids and daycare was so expensive that he would be a SAHD and she would work......they each take care of the house and chore but he is the primary caregiver for thier 3 kids and they love thier life.....and neither my family or hers has an issue with it because they made it very clear that is was a choice they were making and they live with in the means of her salary.......
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 10:52 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • My SO does not work either but he stays home with DS which saves us 400 a month on Daycare.. He also helps with bills and cleans cooks takes care of baby no we dont have extra money to spend but me SO and DS have Everything we need... I can see how it would bother you it bothers me someday like OMG i wanna be a SAHM but i know its not ganna happens i couldn't ask for a better SO so im ok with it.. I hope everything works out with you guys maybe just talk to him and see if he can even get a part time job or something Good Luck Mommy!!!

    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 10:54 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • Years ago I would not have even dated someone who didn't have a job. Today though hubs doesn't work because he's disabled, thankfully he gets disabiliity and he does as much as he can around the house cooking and cleaning and such. And he's home when the boys get home from school which I am grateful and very thankful for.
    I say if he is contriibuting to your home and you are okay with the arrangement don't let what other people think or say bother you.
    Nowadays more and more dads are stay at homes because of the economy.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 11:46 AM on May. 22, 2011

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