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If you got married to a man....

who you thought was the sweetest most charming person you've met, had a strong connection with, wined and dined you and the whole nine yards, but never met any of his family except briefly maybe a couple of cousins and friends on occasion and his family only at the wedding ceremony. Then you bump into a woman who saw you two together claiming to be his ex- wife. The ex-wife then tells you some gory details after their fairytale courtship and early married life including beatings, name calling, belittling every chance he got, locking you in the house and leaving for days at a time with no money and only one car that he took but she never called the police because she was too afraid and has no proof, but is shaking in terror and warning you. How would you feel? What would you do?

Answer Question
 
SMITxsM2

Asked by SMITxsM2 at 11:47 AM on May. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,560 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • I would thank her for telling me then run like hell from that man.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:48 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • I would also believe her. What do you have to lose? Even if she were just saying stuff like that, why would you even want to take the chance? Obviously something is going on.. being she is telling the truth or she is a person that could cause problems in the future. I would tell her Thank You and never look back.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:56 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • I would believe her, and would have been suspicious about him not taking me around his family alot since I would eventually be a part of the family.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:58 AM on May. 22, 2011

  • I'd get a background check on line see if he was married. If he had been... I'd cover my butt ($) and run
    Liberty979

    Answer by Liberty979 at 12:02 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Remember you have no official proof of this happening and you could possibly be running from a good man from taking in possible false information. What if he said he just didn't get along with his family and despises them.
    SMITxsM2

    Comment by SMITxsM2 (original poster) at 12:06 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I agree with the other ladies. But I would probably be more cautiously optimistic. I would start stashing away money, as much as I could. Then at the first sign of abuse, I would run like hell. I stand by my husband until he proved her right. But at the same time I would be preparing an exit strategy.

    You would be foolish to not prepared to leave.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:07 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • What she was a crazy kook of a woman bitter about a break up?
    SMITxsM2

    Comment by SMITxsM2 (original poster) at 12:07 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Did he ever tell you he was married before?

    Does his family live far away, outside of the country?

    Why did you not meet them more often before marriage and since you met them at the wedding ceremony how often do you keep in touch with them? (today with technology even when families are far away from each the internet keeps them closer)
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:10 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I agree with checking to see if they had been married and running like hell.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 12:13 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • One MAJOR red flag for me is someone who does not get along with their family or claims he does not like them. It is a HUGE red flag. I dont get along with my mom and dad but always took my serious bf/gf to meet them if I thought the relationship was going somewhere. A second red flag would be this woman coming to tell me this and she has nothing to gain from telling you this. Her shaking means she was afraid and if she was just trying to start problems she would have not been in that frame or have that shaking around her. I would not take any chances and would ask my husband why he divorced? What is his mom or other families phone numbers because I had questions? I would go look at criminal backgrounds. I would go to the courthouse and pay for a copy of the divorce.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:15 PM on May. 22, 2011

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