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Please tell me what would you do in honesty

My children recently started seeing their father again last year on Halloween. This goes back to 2007 when all ties were cut off when i left him because of abuse to me and the children. They had no contact at all with seeing or talking to them. We moved and low and behold he was just a few houses away, in panic i filed a ppo against him and the court immediately put it into effect. When he found out he got a lawyer to have it dismissed. It worked, according to the judge, since he hadnt "beat on me or the children" recently and i had no police report of any previous, he dropped it. Shortly after of course he started his debate and begging to see the kids(online, calling my family and what not). All in all in the end i got a letter from his lawyer and a copy of what the court will say and do as far splitting the time up that he can see them and how nasty it could get for us. I didnt want to put the kids thru it and wanted to believe that what his brother was coming and saying was true, that he'd changed and was doing better and that he just wanted to help. His brother was like a brother to me, so I allowed him to be some what of our mediator. They started seeing him from then on. There has been kinks, but we have worked thru them. His girlfriend is the problem now. He does absolutely nothing for them, now they have moved. After all the bitching and lying and so on to get them in his life, they move so now the kids cant go to his house anymore, every blue moon cause they moved so far away, but still in the same city. What I have found out has made me wanna cry everytime i think about it. She has been beating on them and no one told me anything!!!!! They were afraid because they thaught there would be drama and they would get in trouble. History repeated itself and im so mad at myself because i let it happen, the sad thing is he faught to get them in his life and now 8 months later he drops the bomb on them that they are moving out of state because of "better jobs" ,lol. They are both self employed and thats all theyve done since forever, thats the only excuse he could come up with is better jobs?? He has never held a job more than a month, he is so pathetic. I dont care about what he does with his life, its just not fair to the kids. They are upset and dont know how to tell him for fear of what he or she will do. He is calling to come and get them,one doesnt wanna go and hasnt went for over a month because of the girlfriend. The other two are grinning and baring it to be with him, but he gets them and leave them with her or at home alone, with their two, a total of 5 kids. I dont want them to go with him because of what is going on. He should have like supervised visits or something thru the court, some type of court order needs to be put in place or something. What is your take on this. I know its alot but alot is swimming in my head about it right now. I tried my best to put into words, so forgive me if i rambled on a bit.

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ma6

Asked by ma6 at 1:44 PM on May. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (60 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I would not let him pick up my kids. Make him go to court for visitation rights.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:55 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Tell him he wants to se them he needs to take to you to court...depending on how old your kids are...the judge may want to peak with the kids in his/her chambers alone and see what they want and how they feel about their father...you need to deff. bring up the possible abuse and call CSP/DCF because if she is beating your kids chances are she's beating her so call them and let the professionals deal wit it.!!!

    happymama02

    Answer by happymama02 at 2:03 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Make him go to court and also see if you can get evidence of what is going on.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 2:06 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I would not let them go there, EVER. And I would call the cops on her!

    And, this is just me, I would lay low for a few months, find her in a dark alley, and kick her ass.
    mrsziemann

    Answer by mrsziemann at 2:37 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • they are 11,10,8 they love him, they just take the bs dished out to be with him. I have the oldest on video when he came to me early in the year telling me how he taped his mouth and tied him up and put him under a cover in the room while i was at work. Broke my heart, he was about 4 or 5 then, i didnt know, and he wasnt confronted with it until we had a big fall out in November. He denies it but the others(I have 3 older ones) says its true and the younge 2 of his says its true. I hate him for this and im praying that God removes the hate from my heart for them, thank you ladies for the reply and i will be contacting CPS.
    ma6

    Comment by ma6 (original poster) at 2:37 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Wow! What type of parent would tie their child up and tape their mouth shut? And what kind of judge would allow a parent to get visitation rights to this child? I'm sorry, but if I had ANYTHING to do with it, my children would NEVER go to their home. We are their parents and our primary responsibility is to protect our children. If he would do this, what else might he do? And no girlfriend or s/o would touch my child, but maybe once. This is crazy! Can't she go to jail for that? She's not even their step-mom!
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 10:32 AM on May. 23, 2011

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