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I need advice, I really do not know what to do...

I have a really great husband. For the past several months he has been taking care of everything for me. I have some strange health things going on and the answers the doctors give us is... sorry I just do not know what is going on. I have swelling everywhere, I can not close my hands, my feet legs arms just everything hurts. My skin feels like it is going to split sometimes. Anyway, I am still working everyday but when I get home I am so exhausted all I can do is crawl into bed and put my feet up. This is where I get confused...I am working everyday in more pain than I have ever experienced before. He is not working! My sorry little income can not support us. I suggested looking for low income housing because we can not afford our home. I ask if he has any appointments scheduled for his work and he never does. Whenever I see him at his computer he is either watching some history channel show or playing poker. I never see him being productive at his work. He will spend hours reading webmd about my symptoms. He will comment that maybe being in a stressful situation is part of the cause. Then he will serve me dinner in bed! Bottom line I am not happy, I should be but I am not. He has so much potential but I can not live on potential. We can not. I guess what is prompting this is our nine yr. old daughter told me today that she was trying to find a job online today! She said she wants to get more money. I have not talked to him about my feelings in quite a while. You see it has been years since he has maintained any kind of substantial income. It is always one thing or another that "prevents" him from working. It seems like he is so worried about me he can't be apart yet I go to work and he is home! This does not work for me. It is like he gets so occupied in doing insignificant unproductive things that what is important just goes by the wayside. It seems to me that he is just fine accepting welfare or assistance from church than do for himself or his family. I am tired, I do not know how to bring this up without either getting into a fight or him acting like the injured party. Whenever I bring this stuff up he gets so defensive then just says I am right cries a little, yet nothing changes EVER! Other than his lack of work he truly is a wonderful, caring, gentle man. I am so sad...what do I do?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on May. 22, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I don't know if I can help you but I also have a debilitating illness. Quite frankly I don't know how you are doing it. Maybe it's time you had a real heart to heart with him and say...look I am sick and I can't work this way any longer. Tell him you need him and that the 2 of you need to work to be able to afford the house etc...

    I am a single Mom and there's many things I have to do things because I don't have anyone but being married you shouldn't have to fight alone. Maybe show him some jobs or help him to find something...


    Answer by marylandmom51 at 4:18 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • If he isn't doing anything to contribute to the welfare of the family don't stay with him.

    Answer by meooma at 4:16 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Quit your job, maybe when he sees there is no support coming in, he will wake up and know responsible people have to work to make it in this world.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 4:45 PM on May. 22, 2011


    Answer by babygirl_18 at 10:05 PM on May. 22, 2011